MMFF What Is Your Major Malfunction?

As we end the year I want to talk about something that coincide with our local Christmas season, that award festival. The Metro Manila Film Festival or MMFF for short, the so-called prestigious award giving body that kills both foreign films that blossomed anywhere in the planet around Christmas season and well deserved local movies.

The festival has a terrible history of controversies and questionable decisions yet the masses and gossip addicts still embraces the horrible chosen movies every year and not recognize movies that are obviously better.

I still don't get on how they choose the movies that will compete for the festival. Recently, the committee is quite obsessed including movies that are just rehash of old ones, unnecessary sequels with actors that feeds on the gullible masses and movies that most likely written in a day, shot in a week, and post edited while playing a PSP.

MMFF Guy: Whats a good movie?
Since the festivals main marketed description is prestigious, and as others say the MMFF is in the same level of Oscars, the movie selections should have the following important characteristics, even if the movie is a comedy and horror.

1. The story is good

Sorry, I only came up with one characteristic, but believe me, that is the most important factor of a movie. The story comes first, the actors are just the tools to execute the story, guided by a director that knows what the hell is he or she doing and accompanied by a well-organized crew.

MMFF Guy:What could go wrong?
The big day has arrived, it's the real awards night, but what's this, obviously needed stuff is not done... properly? or not done at all?

First and foremost, since they only had a very, very limited selected movies, why the hell they still limit the nominees for each categories? why not have every movie has its own representative? There was a massive backlash when one of the movies that has a female protagonist (I wonder if the committee members knows the word protagonist) that is obviously entitled be nominated in the best actress group, since again she is a female and lead performer, was not included in the nominees.

I read somewhere that the nominees is already pre-selected by the "new and improved" jurors and they only chose 3, among 8 movies, per category. Well that is stupid, there are 8 movies fighting and killing your Christmas movie selections, not 3 films and in this approach, the nominees are stupidly inconsistent.

Other award bodies, especially the foreign ones, release the nominees before the real event to create buzz, even gossips that some of our local country men die for. Here in our dear MMFF, they only show the nominees, fueled with their idiotic nomination process, on the night itself.

Since we are talking about nominations, the festival is heavily promoted and well-funded (they even had a lengthy commercial on theater) yet they can't come up with decent "the nominees" nomination highlight video. You know, the one they say each nominee, and the video will show something from the nominee. Like if I say nominee A, the video will show nominee A doing something from the movie. God damn, the presenters looks embarrassingly stiff and awkward while reading the nominees one by one like a disgruntled underpaid employee.

MMFF Guy: Our event is awesome
The recent one, oh boy, there are a lot of technical disasters and dumb decisions occurred throughout the night. Even if it is a delayed telecast, they should have done something to redeemed the influx of event related problems which include.

• Few mics not working and no immediate replacement mic was given to the speaker. He has to walk a few meters just to get a working mic
• Lots and lots of dead air (meaning nothings happening)
• Playing the applause music when they show the crowd that only around 5% was actually clapping
• Terrible lighting in some scenes

Lastly, their main animated event ID, the horrible early 90s look video probably rendered in a Windows 95 computer. An arts college student can do better event ID than that crap.

I hope they will do a better job next year, and hopefully, the rumored text to vote scheme is true, at least the choices will be from the people. Then again, a lot of our country men here votes on who and what is popular like in every election.

The only good thing MMFF has done this year is to recognized some indie films. Who knows, these future big time movie makers will offer the MMFF a set of movies that are actually good.

And one more thing, can they move the festival in other dates than Christmas? please? Hollywood always come up with good holiday films and we are still stuck with local MMFF selected movies that are 70%  dreadful and painful to watch.

Thank you for reading my last and a very world saving entry and have a Merry Christmas and a happy new year to all you again.

Those FB Photos

Hello, its Christmas season again and work starts getting a little lighter. What better way to celebrate this festive season is to spank in written form anyone who does not use their Facebook photo features properly.

One of the features of Facebook is of course, having your photo published for everyone to see, including your sweaty stalker. Your primary photo's overall feel, in the essence, is not complicated, not stiff and very presentable since the very first thing a viewer of your profile will look for is your photo.

If your photo is the annoying type, the viewer might not check out your Facebook anymore. Hilarity ensues if your father see your primary photo showing horrible things like doing something inappropriate with a piece of an inanimate object.

Overall, they are just some photos that are highly recommended be placed inside on one of your internal photo albums or better, for the sake of doing good to the world, don't post it.

Flex, flex, flex and more flex

Showcasing your hard etched body especially abs
There is something unsettling seeing people who does t-shirt lifting to show his abs or flexing around their unnatural muscles. Boasting their physical appearances is a way to compensate of some of their shortcoming, maybe in literal sense or something else. In the end its annoying. I am not in a way jealous seeing people with awesome bodies, just don't flaunt it around. Yes, I am proud with my abs, 6 packs (of beer) and all.

Duckfacing.... sexy?

The Duckface
A very sad attempt to look sexy. Mostly done by female crowd and a way to do a subtle cock tease for their horny stalker really look stupid. Why a lot of girls do that? stop doing that expression accompanied by a failed gangsta style hand gestured you copied from some guy on Facebook. According to some guy in the Internet, the duckfacing, in his observation, is a way for select women to hide their insecurities . It's like a false advertisement to the viewers of their photo, kinda like the next one.

Nice...Oh shhhhhh

The Dreaded MySpace angle
Many people around the Internet world loves this angle when they took their own photos. Their preferred room for their personal pictorial is always been the bathroom or their own rooms. This deceiving angle, if placed upper sideways from your body tend to overemphasize your face than your lower body. It is a way to hide something about your body that the world don't want to see. It's also a very powerful attention gathering tool, it can fool idiots thinking you have the hottest or yummiest body ever.

MySpace Angle: Dogs love it, Cats still does not care

Named after MySpace because you know, it was popular and THE social site back then, but the angle later scattered other social sites, like the current king of social networking, Facebook.

I am going to effed you up!

The Tough Guy/Look at me I am THE MAN/WOMAN Look
Again, being anonymous in the Internet in a way can cover your real self. You can see this set of lonely people raising havoc in many message boards with their scary typing skills and what not. Accompanied by their over worked muscles and their bad ass tattoos doing not normal shenanigans in their photos. They tend to do the Duckface crap and flaunt to the world-wide web with photos surrounded by whores and man whores, paid by them of course, Their statuses and self-written comments to their own photos, packed with narcissistic nonsense that you wish that an anvil comes from the sky and hits those people who wear ridiculous "gangsta" outfits that they raided (actually bought) in the thrift shops.

Yes! you rock! whoever you are!

Concert/Event + Mobile Phone with built-in motion blur = Can't see shit
This always happened after a major concert/event ended. In delight we tried our best to take photos with our mobile phone since event security is allergic with high-resolution cameras like a DLSR. Why banned DLSRs? are we going to shoot the performers with our ordinary cameras? With a lot of crap going on like stage lights swirling around  and everyone is moving around on the crowd, 97% of time you will get a blurred shot. If you uploaded it, maybe you can only make out on at least one photo. Don't bother uploading it

Find your local versions of the photo above

The Douchebag look
You just want to hit the face with the wrench, everyone one of them.

Merry Christmas and thanks for keeping my blog warm when I don't post!

Rest in Peace Nu107, Our Rock and Roll Haven

I just learned that my other favorite radio station NU107, that one helped me get through hardships by head banging like there is no tomorrow, is about to meet its end. It's not actually the station going to enter to an open grave and covered in earth, but the rock and roll branding of the great NU107 Rock Station will adapt the mass friendly radio station formula. In the nutshell, the station, formerly caters to rock music, slowly embraces mainstream stuff.

You may say having a mainstream station is not such a bad thing, but believe me, in our country, if you have a background of listening to decent stations with enjoyable DJs and good playlist, you wish have your ears tore once you hear all the horrible stuff that comes from a local radio station aimed for the CDE crowd. This stations have the most annoying DJ banter, hell shrieking voices, obnoxious program concepts and poor playlist consists of every bad ballads in the planet. The masses eat this kind of station and they will gladly pump it up in their radio stations on their public transportation as loud as possible to the point you cannot hear a single thing outside of the vehicle.

One of the reasons why the station heads decided to switch to the bad yet popular niche is financially related. Actually, for the past few years when I switched to NU, I think the station is dwindling and if I remembered correctly, they were having lesser advertisements. I rarely listen to the station unlike my high school and college days, I still have fond memories of listening to the old Zach and Joey in the Morning show and the fan favorite remote control weekend. Nowadays I am permanently attached to Jam 88.3 for their alternative playlist and Magic 89.9 for their outrageous morning show, which where I originally got the sad news.

NU107 helped a lot of unknown bands to get their music to the country and it introduced a bunch of good non mainstream bands to enjoy. One of the greatest thing ever conceived by the station is the yearly Rock Awards, a great venue to recognize talents that are usually ignored in big time local music ceremonies.

In the end, whatever the stations plan for their future, NU 107, The Home of the New Rock, will always be somewhere in my heart and just like what one of the Gods of Rock will say, LET THERE BE ROCK! Rock on NU107, thanks for the memories and to the station, good luck to your future endeavors.

Lastly, yes I really hate local mainstream pop stations and all that tot tot tot tot bullcrap and &#$%@!!!!!

K-Poppin

A few days ago I was watching a local music channel. The program was a top 20 countdown show and shows the 20-2 recap and I noticed a lot of them were foreign and non-English songs. Then they show the number one song for the week voted locally by a lot of fans, behold,  another non-English song performed by a K-Pop group.

K-Pop, or Korean pop is a music genre, just like in the 80s say, where boys and girls look the same. They are popular, probably in their prime. I think the K-Pop and obsession with everything Korean began during the height of Meteor Garden, those F4 guys and that 5566 group, so on and so forth.

The only thing I don't understand is why the K-Pop is so darn popular. They sound catchy and danceable but 95% of the lyrics is in their native language which obviously a lot of us cannot understand. I think the only words that you can understand are love, heart and more love. Its like the boyband invasion of late 90s all over again, but this time, we cannot understand them.

Then we got a chunk of scary fans, their own fantards, remember not all of them, just a chunk of them, probably more than 50%. They dress like them, wearing fur and other bondage looking outfits, singing their favorite K-Pop songs even they have really no idea what the lyrics were. They might saying bad words about you or something they will eat you while you are sleeping  and you still don't grasp it because the music sounds good.

Locally, some music executive cashes in with the K-Pop popularity and invents what he or she calls P-Pop, or Pinoy Pop. Hoping to fork more cash by emulating what does a lot of K-Pop does but the advantage is they are local countrymen and we can understand their lyrics. Covered with ridiculous amount of make up that makes Death from Bill and Ted cry in envy and make them look more oriental as possible, with a little hint of  skin retouching here and there. Alas, we got a localized K-Pop known as P-Pop but sounds like K-Pop but we can understand the lyrics which consists of love, heart and more love because they are P-Pop. I think the P-Pop approach failed horribly because I only saw one P-Pop group and already disappeared in obscurity.

Admittedly, the main background music of the most K-Pop songs are good. I actually wish that they remove all the non-English singing parts of the song and just keep the background music, especially the one that sounds like a slow pace electronica music. Even that over abused Nobody song from the Wondergirls, if you managed to ditch all the singing part, will sound better I guarantee you that. The musicians behind the main music do a better job than the real singers.

In the end one of the things that bothered me is sometimes, with all their manufactured glory, I can't tell if the singers are male or female. I am not an all the way against K-Pop and other similar counterparts, but come on, there are other musicians that are good, looks decent and does not look like slapped together by a fat music executive.

Yup, its different strokes for different folks so I have no right to preach them but I can tell that in few months or even years time, they will say "Oh man, K-Pop sucks, I never knew there are other musicians out there that are good... and whats this? I can understand the lyrics? all those wasted years....ALL THOSE WASTED YEARS!!"

Driving Hell

I may sound like a really broken record here but driving in our country really sucks especially of course in our dear capital, the infamous streets of Metro Manila.

As I type this and all of a sudden, a traffic enforcer with ninja powers came out of nowhere and starts giving me a violation ticket due to complaining about the traffic situation through blogging, here are some things I really, really hate in the roads of Manila.

Jeepney headlights set to off at night
I just recently noticed that many jeepneys traveling at night, and I mean many them, had their headlights off and speeding blindly in the dark. I remember almost hitting a jeep when I was attempting to change lanes and all of a sudden, a  jeep with a switched off headlight swoosh to my lane, complete with the patented angry honking. I asked this to a forum and a guy said the reason many jeepneys doing this is to make their slightly lit route signage attached to their windshield visible at night..... that's stupid.

Swerving Delight
Filipino drivers just love to insert themselves on every possible space, even swerving drastically from one lane to another, sometimes jumping from one lane to 3 lanes. If you are a sane person, changing lanes is simply checking the lane you are about to switch, use signal lights and change lanes if there is no threat. Here, as usual, it will never work and many times it will lead to collisions and more headaches.

Driving on the line, not in the lane
97% of time, I am always in the middle of the lane. in between the designated right marks. If the road has 4 lanes it should stay that way but a lot of drivers placing their vehicles in the middle of road lines and not being in between the white lines, the 4 lanes became 6 lanes, traffic galore. As expected, as long there is a space in the road, the idiots will insert their vehicles in inappropriate areas, which results to more traffic.

U Turn slots and concrete barriers in inappropriate areas
No wonder there are a lot of news of vehicles getting wrecked by concrete barriers with bad reflectors. Driving with care is still the best way to get yourself safe from point A to B but having dangerous obstacles like concrete barriers placed in areas that most likely to get you car turned into a metal pancake is not really a good idea. Almost a lot of them has reflectors that degraded horribly due to poor maintenance and you cannot easily spot them at afar  especially at night and if you are not really familiar with the place. Bam you just hit a concrete barrier.


Deny Changing Lane Lovers
Some Filipino drivers just want it all. Like when you attempt to change lane after ensuring that there is no immediate vehicle, a faraway car from that lane will suddenly accelerate and block your lane, the only thing missing is to give you a douchebaggery smile. It happened to me many times especially at that accident haven called EDSA. It's like the driver is a hybrid of Slimer and Lex Luthor, wherein the driver just want it all and the concept of road courtesy thrown out of the window.

Lets head on shall we
Counter flowing is encourage if there is no absolutely oncoming vehicles on the opposite lane. Not here in our country, just like what I said, if there is space, even in the opposite lanes, our dear fellow drivers will be in their speed orgasm trance state again, and speeds up to the opposite lane and dodge incoming cars while honking indiscriminately in joy. They do this to cut the travel time, but really, its making you cut your life faster.

Road courtesy is not existent
Major roads in Manila is chaotic packed with dangerous drivers and accident magnet road obstacles, driving around here is really hell. A lot of them does not follow road rules and I doubt they know what some road sign means.

If you are fast driver, you will be most likely be killed in an accident, and if you are slow one, you will also be mostly killed in a horrible accident. Its like dog eat dog world out there, everyone wants to reach their destination as fast as possible, even if it leads to more accidents.

As other say, if you can survive while driving around the Metro you will not have any problems driving anywhere in the world. There are a lot of delinquent and very unqualified drivers, mostly in public vehicles, tearing up the streets while having experiencing speed orgasm at the same time. We got a number of traffic reducing schemes with great premise but sadly fails in implementation. Lastly, don't forget about poor road conditions that plagued a lot of our major roads that leads more disaster and sadly,  unnecessary deaths.

Combining them all and we got the recipe of driving hell.

Tooling you Computer: The Assorted Softwares Post

On the second and long overdue edition of tools, I will be talking about useful PC softwares and plug-ins I found all over the internet that you can use freely. The most important thing that I can say about the following softwares is that you can trust them, it will not mess with your internal windows OS, it doesn’t even clog your memory, and they will only appear if you need to.

You should have the essential softwares like a decent antivirus like Avast and a splendid browser like a Firefox already so you won’t be seeing some of these softwares here. I will also recommend other software that you may or not heard before that may in some way helpful to your profession.

I am not a certified information technology expert but with the following software plus common sense, will give you a better working computer, even if it is a slow one.

Winpatrol
http://www.winpatrol.com/download.html
Whenever you install new software, there is always a possibility that something you don’t like install itself, usually packaged with the software you install in the first place. This bullcrap is universally known as Spywares and Malwares. Some software, without your knowledge, immediately places himself as part of your Start Up which greatly affects the overall performance of your computer. With Winpatrol, you can now disabled unnecessary Start Up stuff without messing their registry.

Winpatrol also monitors and notifies you if dangerous software that you don’t know running around your OS attempts to install to your main system. You can block and removes these threats with an ease. There are more beneficial features that you can use with it but most of time I only use this to remove those annoying and unneeded software. There is a plus version of it but it involves money spending again, it’s up to you to consider buying the upgraded version.

You may ask what is a spyware. According to one of my time eating website, Wikipedia, a Spyware is computer software that installs itself surreptitiously on a personal computer to intercept or take partial control over the user's interaction with the computer, without the user's informed consent.

While the term spyware suggests software that secretly monitors the user's behavior, the functions of spyware extend well beyond simple monitoring. Spyware programs can collect various types of personal information, such as Internet surfing habit, but can also interfere with user control of the computer in other ways, such as installing other software, redirecting Web browser activity, accessing websites blindly that will cause more harmful viruses, or diverting advertising revenue to a third-party. Spyware can even change computer settings, resulting in slow connection speeds, different home pages, and loss of Internet or other programs.

Spybot Search and Destroy
http://www.safer-networking.org/en/spybotsd/index.html
Spywares, malware and other crap that shouldn’t be invented in the first place and the author of these said crapwares should die by drowning in a pool full of diarrhea powered crap. To make sure that kind of threat will not bother you, just install this excellent anti-spyware software and let it search and destroy those spyware. Before scanning your system again, always update the software because almost everyday, a bastard creates another sneaky spyware. Be sure to shield yourself with this handy software.

Super
http://www.erightsoft.com/SUPER.html
Super Video Converter, is the best video converter ever. There are a lot of shareware around that can convert your video file to another format. But most of the time, they will always cripple your video, by placing a logo watermark on your outputted video, and the only way to remove the watermark, is well, pay them, and you don’t want to do that. Those good guys from eRightSoft did a Lord’s work and provided us with this very reliable software than can convert almost all formats, even the .FLV format of video streaming sites like Youtube.

The process is easy, just drag the video to Super, choose the output format, and customize the main output (size, codec, etc.), and just wait. The conversion speed depends on the original size of your video and the speed of your computer so don’t expect fast results. After finishing the video conversion, you may view got your new freshly converted video, and you may burn it in a DVD or VCD, or if you are a rich bastard, a Blu-Ray burner. Why do I love Super? It’s free.

BitTorrent and the UTorrent
http://www.utorrent.com/
Having problems downloading your BitTorrent files using the original Bittorrent software? Is it too slow for you even if you detect a huge chunk of seeds from that file? Why am I talking technical? what is a torrent? Again, let’s ask google and Wikipedia.

BitTorrent is a peer-to-peer file sharing protocol used to distribute large amounts of data. The first distributor of the complete file or collection acts as the first seed. Each peer that downloads the data also uploads it to other peers. Relative to standard internet hosting, this provides a significant reduction in the original distributor's hardware and bandwidth resource costs. It also provides redundancy against system problems and reduces dependence on the original distributor.

It’s like copying their file, no matter how big the size is, from their computer to your computer. It’s like the Napster and Frostwire peer-to-peer clients, but better. How do you use the Bittorrent, just do the following:

1. You should know first on what file do you want to have, is it an old movie? An old album you lost ages ago? A comic story arc you never read but you can't find a printed copy somewhere? If you finally decided on what file you want to download, lets head to the web.


2. There are a lot of good torrent sites around the net. I recommend the controversial the Pirate Bay because it is one of the reliable torrent sharing sites and doesn’t have annoying ads. Just search the file, and download the torrent.


3. Now, to activate the torrent, you need a good BitTorrent client. I recommend UTorrent client because the download speed is quicker and easy to understand interface.


4. Download and install UTorrent and run your downloaded Torrent there.


5. Wait for the file to complete and enjoy.


6. Just a little tip, always check the number of seeds of the file, the more seed the torrent file has, the download will be faster.

Expectedly, torrent sharing is illegal because of copyright issues and having the file free of charge, so use it with caution.

OPEN OFFICE
http://www.openoffice.org/
The greatest alternative for that slow, horrible and hard drive eating Microsoft Office. It offers everything that any version of MS Office can do, but in a faster, lighter package and importantly, it is free. Open Office can edit existing files made in MS Office and you can open annoying formats without any other softwares to download., like that dreaded .DOCX wherein older MS Word versions cannot open.

Stay tune for more free and useful software goodies from this series.

Techie Derivative & Socialite Craptology

Getting new stuff is really a beneficial and a rewarding experience for the consumer. But the current trend of technology accelerating at the fast pace means the accelerating of you losing more money. Technology derivatives like cellphones and laptops must have a good life span. Consumers always find creative ways to earn more money and buy this stuff even if the buyer is not sure if this stuff will be a good long-term investment.

In our country full of social climbers, great pretenders and plain douchebags, some uses the image of high technology to cloak themselves with the idea that they are high-class while their family members is starving at home and probably eating the box of the newly purchased and insanely expensive cell phone. To save more cash and lessen you appetite for technology, here are some stuff and people you need to watch out and take notice.

Almost the same stuff with minimal update like 10% thinner
We collect our hard-earned cash, frolic in anticipation in securing the most sought after item and jerk on it once you had in your filthy dirty hands. Then an updated version of the same item appears complimented with hypnotic powers of their marketing group. They will sell the updated stuff in almost as the same price range from the earlier version.

Repair Crap
Locally, its hard to find a decent and legitimate repair shop that is not expensive. Some of the repair shop associated with your warranty will find ways to find other problems not mentioned in your warranty "limitation" list wherein in the end, after complaining and throwing cusses to the repair crew, you will still pay the miscellaneous "newly discovered and non warranty covered" problem.

Your new high-tech gadget is very attractive for me *snatches*
One of the reasons I not one of those guys who wants to update their gadgets as soon as a better version comes out, aside from lack of funds of course, is that it will be a prized item for criminals to snatch it out from your hands. Locally, we all know snatching and robbery happens everyday, even in broad day light and saw by tons of people, and the cops with big bellies will just jolt down your complain and wishes you to go away.

A wholesome ABC acronym: Accessory Bull Crap
What is a gadget main purpose? like what is a cellphone's main purpose? a mobile equipment on the go that you can use everywhere. Locally, where a huge chunk of people is in desperate to have their forehead stamped with the words socialite, will just flaunt their expensive phones and place them on top of the table, along with a D-SLR, a second-hand laptop and just plain hanging out in the middle of a café. They never use the darn thing and just wasted a good amount of cash. Locally the behavior of the douchebags is known as "pasosyal".

If you have gadgets that can give good performance and very helpful for whatever you are doing, keep it and don't splurge your cash to acquire the updated versions of the same thing. Use the gadgets as they were originally designed and not as an accessory along with your LV (Luis Vuttones) bag.

SWAT: Sugod (Attack), Wait, Atras (Retreat), Tago (Hide)

While at work yesterday I read the news about a disgruntled cop taking a tourist bus loaded with Chinese tourists hostage and all he wanted is to have his old job back with benefits. The cop's dismissal is full of controversy but that is another story. The big story is how our local authorities  handled the situation and sadly, they blundered miserably resulting to unnecessary fatalities.

High risk situations like hostage taking needs proper management from ground commander and using the SWAT team as last resort to fix things. Still, our local SWAT, now christened with many names because of their lackluster performance probably created the situation worse. The ground commander also did a very poor performance and there are many times you want to hit the guy with a frying pan.

SWAT, if we used the fighting game term, the finishing move in a hostage situation, the greatest solution to end a crisis and hopefully save the lives of the hostages. That particular SWAT unit failed to do the job properly and botched many times which lead to more deaths.

Here are some craptastic things made by the ground commander, the on the scene police, the ill-equipped SWAT unit and the scoop hungry media during the crisis infused with obvious observation, rants and common sense analysis of yours truly, even if I am not a trained SWAT operative.

Uzis, thousands of them
After the last gun shot was heard and the smoke cleared, the once emptied street, suddenly a wave of Uzis or usiseros or to our non-Tagalog speaking readers, bunch of curious onlookers starts swarming towards the scene of the crime with their cellphone camera aiming to take at least a picture of the dead body later upload the image while giggling to his Facebook account. From the start, the police didn't cordoned the area to prevent unwanted civilians frolicking around the premises.

We got tear gas! where is my gas mask?
What the hell? a SWAT unit that lacks important equipment, like a gas mask. They have other items to distract the suspect like a tear gas yet they don't have protection like a gas mask to cover themselves from the effects of it. I think I only saw 1 guy wearing a gas mask and the rest of the assault team cover their faces with a wet clothe.

SWAT Attack! Panic mode! Go Back!
Even they have body armor in their body and highly trained in dealing with in your face scenarios, they scrambled like a frightened pack of mice, running away from the bus when the suspect starts shooting indiscriminately inside. They should push through with the assault and stop the firing. If they can't do it stay by the side of the bus, just let the sniper do his job.

Making a big fuss about the news is my orgasm maker
Media is our direct link between the news and us. But they need be very vigilant and be conscious of all things they broadcast, especially the kind that can endanger other lives. If the situation is already high risk and to help the assault team to conduct a sweep job, the media must start an owned news blackout. Of course, they can continue recording the fiasco without actual broadcasting it live and just show it on TV after the incident. Also, the media made a big mistake of mentioning the positions of police officers even the snipers on national TV. The suspect is most likely receiving all the news via the bus in-house television.

And god damn it, stop presenting the news in an exaggerated manner as if you are having a fanciful orgasm. I find it funny that one of the most popular self-imposed tough guys on news who loves to finger point things became a coward when a whirl of bullets almost got hit him.

The official MPD SWAT breaching items, a big sledgehammer and a piece of rope
I thought a standard SWAT unit, as shown in TV, has an effective breaching material like a plastic explosive. But during the "assault" they don't have an explosive item to destroy the front door but they have a huge ass sledgehammer. The bus glass windows is still too tough for the hammer enabling the suspect to do more damage inside. The hammer plan did not work and probably one of the police remembers an old 80s cartoon and concoct a plan to tie the bus door with a piece of rope and be pulled by a car. As expected, the planned did not work and the suspect can easily shoot more hostages inside

If they have at least a plastic explosive and a set of gas masks, they can place it by the door, windshield and the other back door, detonate it, throw a flash grenade or a tear gas, go inside with a gas mask on and neutralize the suspect and hopefully not kill him. Speaking of back door.

Emergency door says hello
The emergency door, firmly placed near the back of the bus and designed for real emergency purposes, is right there under their noses. They are having a hard time destroying the glass windows that can withstand a big amount of force yet the door is only a few meters, even inches away from them. The emergency door can easily be accessed from outside and even if the door does not respond immediately, at least that door is more manageable to open than the other one.

The arresting of his brother, things go sour
Everything and everyone was calm the day but when the suspect's brother and his family starts getting the over sensationalized attention of the media and the cops drags him in forceful way is probably and I am 90% sure the main breaking point of the suspect. Before that he set a 5 minute deadline to resolve the arrest of his brother but only 3 minutes have passed when he starts killing hostages.

Both police and media is responsible for his final outburst. For the police, improper arrest to the suspects brother and the only thing missing is to hit the brother with a baseball bat to the head to calm him down, and the media, broadcasting a sensitive image to the world wherein the suspect can see as well. The suspect is reportedly kind with the hostages but when the police dragged his brother away and shown by our friendly media, his attitude turned destructive.

No more element of surprise tactic
SWAT, recruited and trained to take down the enemy as fast as possible and hopefully not kill the suspect. That MPD SWAT last night already had their element of surprise tactic no longer surprising for the suspect since he already knows the positions of SWAT members even the snipers thanks to our great media person. With all the delays and failed tactics, the suspect is probably face palming himself in shame for his fellow officers and continues his reign of terror inside.

With all that craptastic performances of our local law enforcement, the trust rating for them is now plummeting to the extreme. The blood bath aftermath is clear that everyone involved with the negotiations and assault must undergo refreshing training and hopefully the next time another the same kind of crisis happen, the law enforcers and those select few horrible SWAT unit can step up to their game and save lives.

Annoyest

Everyone wants have a prosperous and peaceful life don't we, but still a lot of people in our country, and surely from other countries were born to annoy, destroy and kick the tranquility out of our life. They are dicks, thousands of them, doing unnecessary things that common people wants to collate their poor behinds and blend them to a rusty old blender. The real question is why do they keep doing this stuff? do they even know the concept of consideration and peace?Before some dick starts blasting music outside my house, here are some of the stuff that annoys not only me, but surely a big chunk of human race.

Inconsiderate Squatters
I am not anti poor because I know a few number of them were hard-working and honest. I am not generalizing the squatters as a whole but a big percentage of them are definitely a big pain for the common people, especially the ones who pay their own bills, taxes and other livelihood payables. Some of them will just manufacture more babies, complain to the government and act as if God already abandoned them. They will build their houses illegally in some privately owned areas and set up a working committee out of it, complete with their own barangay tanods. When the authorities asked them to pack up for demolition, accompanied with countless chances to move peacefully, they will go volatile and starts destroying things. At the same time if they see a TV news crew covering the demolition they will go and conduct a drama sequence for the world to see. Some of them don't have money for their family basic needs but at night, they will magically have cash for liquors and good times.

Corrupt Enforcers
This is a no brainer since everyone who are sane wants to rid of anyone who are corrupt. There are everywhere, especially around lunch or dinner time, in need of your hard-earned money. They will find ways to impose a violation on you. even it is obvious you don't have one. Along the way, they learned one of the most important secret of a ninja, where they will blend in and instantly appear from nowhere to catch you, with or without any violations.

Those Ambush Agents
Not federal agents with guns but the ones you usually seen it malls and even at Makati underpass. They are sales agents of their company and they make sure that you will receive their brochures and your signature for their stuff. Granted that is their job but if the person they are about to approach has no interest with your stuff, just leave the person alone and just wait for the right guy or gal that will have great interest of your product.

Regular City Street Racers, millions of them
They treat roads as their race tracks, always aiming for the first place. They drive fast and clueless about signal lights, lanes, pedestrians and especially road safety. The drivers will rampage to the streets like hungry hyenas running toward their injured prey. Accompanied it with lousy traffic enforcers and their traffic control schemes, there will be more accidents and unnecessary premature deaths.

Abuse use of Videoke and sound systems in ungodly hours at residential areas
Filipinos love Videoke and even I tried to sing some tunes in rare moments because I know I have a horrible husky singing voice that makes James Hetfield of Metallica feel sorry for my performance and hug me tight. It is okay to sing and find ways not to get stabbed with an ice pick after a very bad perfomance of My Way in other areas not just in residential areas, especially around after midnight. There are people trying to get some good night sleep including yours truly. Maybe 12 to 1am is much but beyond that while you and your drunk friends singing another icepack friendly song like the American Pie is not considerate anymore. Hopefully that angry My Way hater drunkard goes to your house and stab your Videoke machine.

Being sensitive and considerate to other people is what our fellow men greatly lacks. Who knows, if we leveled up the positive approach to others maybe the world will improve even in small percentage.

Different Strokes for Different Folks, The Hell?

The Internet is the gateway to the other people living from different places. Different cultures clashing with our usual norms and learning new stuff from them. The phrase, different strokes from different folks, on the other hand is frighteningly literally real.

The Internet through many message boards and blog linking lead me to discovery of some weird and effed up fetishes of people wherein they have real online communities and they communicate with each other like normal people. Here are some of the effed things people like and splattered their obsessions via the Internet.

Diaper Fetish
The diaper concept, in layman's term, is for people who uncontrollably unloads their pee and crap like defenseless babies and senile old men. But there is an actual online collaborative discussion of adults, some of them are already in their 30s, like Daily Diaper is into diaper wearing while on home, at work or going places. Substituting actual underwear with diaper and unloading their daily turd everyday. Sometimes they still wear a diaper full of crap whole day since they love sitting on their own shit. Speaking of man unloading and loving his own excrement.

Scat Fetish
I learned this fetish when the 2 girls 1 cup video spread across the Internet like wild fire. Fortunately for me, I have never seen this video where 2 girls eat a convincingly looking fecal matter (it was chocolate in reality). It is one of the popular videos aimed for people who are into Coprophilia, or getting turned on where there is a piece of manure  splattered on someone's body. Yes, a big chunk of people loves doing sexy time on the site of feces.

Gas Pedal Fetish
Maybe related with feet fetish, which is a common favorite but I still don't understand of obsession of someones feet and getting excited to give it a literal footjob. There are real sites and online videos dedicated of unloading their happiness while viewing people stepping on and off of a gas pedal. Probably the most favorite scenario for pedal lovers is the one you keep on stepping on acceleration of your car to get out of 1 feet deep of dirt, instant orgasm for this people, its like masochism, just exchange the whip with gas pedals.

Belly Lovers
As you get older and not maintaining your body while indulging food and beer, you will gain a big belly and if you are a typical normal person and health conscious you will go the BDO route, which you find ways to cut the beer belly and have a better body.  Unfortunately, another load of people is into big guts and actually showing off their big bellies to their fellow belly lovers and only thing missing you actually hear the sound of their applause for a job well done. Some of them have their own tummy inflation video logs, where they post their daily videos showcasing their talents to gain more weight and sometimes entertain the viewers their belly jiggling and gut slapping.

Getting married with inanimate objects and fictional characters
This people are definitely have issues, maybe they were having daddy issues or getting molested by their creepy uncle while still a child. This people, marrying and molesting inanimate objects has a fetish known as Object Sexuality where scientists and experts  concluded that this behavior is not normal which is obvious at the first place. They are into anything, like this woman marrying the Eiffel tower, a girl is getting down on a piece of the old Berlin Wall and an old lonely Japanese guy doing sexy time with an Anime character through its physical form, a piece of big pillow.

I don't know what to say anymore. Different strokes for different folks is a truthful  and scary phrase and how I wish I never discovered some of it. Sometimes I wonder, do you think the people involved on all things mentioned stop and think for one second if what they are into is normal or not, but of course they will decide it as normal and continue kicking the normal way of life's ass.

Is The Nocturnalfrolic, THE BEST TIME WASTING BLOG EVER, dead?

Nope, I was just preoccupied with a lot of work and I kind of run out of creative juice when it comes to writing stuff for the blog.

Since blogging is not my real full-time interest, the blog can lie dormant for few weeks or even at least one month. I will try my best to waste your time more by writing more nifty ramblings, movie reviews and other usual categories.

I am so happy and want to shed an over dramatic single tear because even though the site is kind of dead for few weeks, there are still regular readers, well according to the blog stats and they are actually checking and reading older entries.

Fortunately for me, I am starting to dust off some writers block and start writing again. I will do my best to deliver a time-wasting entry at least once a week, preferably weekends.

Thank you for sharing your wasted time on my blog.

Post of Rage 3: With A Vengeance

For the past few days I met a lot of this pain generating idiots and trends that currently invading our dear country. Some of them is usually seen in frequent basis and others are just the flavor of the week and wishing the fad disappear immediately. Time to wear my rage cap and welcome you to another installment of "Post of Rage", where I can write things I despise and only thing missing is to throw an old broken down toilet to the things I want to crap on.

Drivers who does not know how to use directional signal lights
It is one of those minor things that you can do to decrease road accidents but no, a lot of idiots on the road, especially with the public utility vehicles, for some reason does not know how to use those signal lights and just swerve drastically on each lanes. They jump from one lane to another, racing to their desired destination and high-fiving with the smiling Grim Reaper.


Jejemons Phenomenon
The language molesters and their counterparts the jejebusters should end to exist immediately. They are just  wasting precious internet time and cellphone load, spreading their idiocy. I hope TV news shows stop meddling with this crap and show something relevant or something that can actually help this country. Lastly, this phenomenon is simply annoying.

Filipino Time on Filipino Channels
The Filipino time is a very notorious habit of local countrymen. Filipino time is basically at least 30 minutes to an hour delay from the original time. For example, if the meeting was originally set at  1:00pm, expect the attendees will arrive at around 1:30 and the meeting will begin at 1:45. This also applies to local television network, especially on prime time schedules. The shows starts and ends on different times everyday. Is it hard to come up with a practical schedule and just follow it? when they show the line up of shows, 90% of time there are no specific time on each program and they just, eff it and play the show in a sequence without relying to a non-confusing method of setting schedules properly.

Novelty Radio DJs
I opened the radio and I hear  nice music, just the right soothing alternative rock while driving somewhere in Manila, but all of a sudden, an ear shattering spiel of the DJ blasts to the speakers accompanied with a little jejespeak and other nonsense, later realizing the station is a god damn novelty radio station, home of the most annoying DJs on the planet, not locally, but as whole freaking planet. They are annoying and borderline sleazefest and I wonder our local radio commission does not impose any penalties on this particular stations where the DJs obscenity is quite obvious, vocal and very unnecessary. Yet a lot of our local countrymen enjoy listening to this stations which can destroy more brain cells than drinking a bottle of rugby.

Coffee shop WiFi Hoggers and Time wasting histrionic idiots
Bunch of them are social climbers and thinking hanging out in internet café will raise their popularity or whatever these kids call it today. Since coffee shop is a good place to stay, they can waste time and trying to look more socialite as possible, its like reverse jejemon or something. They will choose the cheapest food from the menu just to declare to the world he is eating and drinking something from the shop,and indulging it in the most pathetic attempt to duplicate on how a typical blue blood snob eat his dishes. While waiting for someone they now to take notice that they are in a posh coffee shop, they will use their cellphones with crappy browser to take advantage of the free WiFi service offered by the coffee shop and posting Facebook status or twits sharing to their friends that they are in this café and sips more from the glass of ice-cold water, of course also free from the shop. Lovely, isn't it.

Time to remove my rage cap, dusting all the remaining raging steam inside of me, smile a little since in few minutes I'll be driving home, hooray for me.

Shrek Forever After and Prince of Persia The Sands of Time: Double Humble Movie Review

I watched Shrek Forever After and Prince of Persia: Sands of Time one week apart and both flicks I find them enjoyable and memorable.

First, I am a big fan of the Shrek series, including the third part which everyone hates. The story is quite touching, a little deep and quite refreshing. It is surprisingly the amount of pop culture references the series is famous for is less on this installment. The humor is still clever and the story is predictable, but as a humble movie reviewer, I am easily pleased. The visuals were outstanding especially if you watched the 3D version and the overall presentation is better than the previous movie.

A very good closure for the series, if it is definitely the last chapter that is but the rumored fifth part of the series is currently circulating the veins of the net, but I think this movie is already good to end one of the most interesting 3D animated movie series ever. I give this movie with a shreking score of 4 stars out of 5 stars.

On the other corner we have Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time, an old videogame franchise with awesome gaming history which consists of old Persian sword fights and acrobatics porn, I mean a prince obsessed with acrobatics.

Majority of videogame based movies were notorious of receiving negative feedback but this movie is one of those which turned out great. The story is loosely based from the game of the same name which I never played before but who cares, the movie was enjoyable and awesome, and to think this is the first time in countless years I watched a live action Disney movie.

All characters did awesome jobs in portraying their respective roles despite all those characterization debacles protesting Gyllenhaal's being caucasian playing a Persian prince. It's all about the presentation and how to convince the audience that you are portraying a character.

The story greatly reminds me of the Lion King for some reason where everyone wants to wear the crown and pose like a king, except for the main character named Prince Dastan, since all he wants to climb walls and leap from rooftops to another. Speaking of rooftop leaping, the movies has one of the greatest and creative stunt works ever complimented with stunning visuals especially during the siege of that holy city that houses the Sands of Time dagger.

In the end, the movie is great and the money is worth it, and hopefully they developed film versions of the succeeding sequels Warriors Within and Two Thrones soon. Since I am easily amused and have a great history of watching videogame based movies, even that god awful Postal, I give this movie 3.75 stars out of 5 stars.

Fantards: A Waste of life.

We are all fan of something like I am into videogames and wrestling. On the other hand, we are a fan of someone like I idolize Homer Simpson, Arnold Schwarzenegger, the Nostalgia Critic and Ely Buendia of the Eraserheads fame. We are fans, we idolize, we like them and sometimes we buy and collect stuff with their names on it.

Just like every kind of collection of people, a certain percentage of it consists of complete idiots. They treat their idols, either the human kind or some random thing, like Gods and the only thing missing is to set up a creepy religion praising their idols while dancing in front of the photo of their idol naked, while bathing in blood from a poor Goat in a room surrounded with candles.

Before some weird offended fan throwing feces at my home, here are some fantards that need to go away.

The Collector of Everything
One way to appreciate your idol is to collect stuff with the name or image of their idol plastered. It is perfectly normal if they managed to collect 100% of all available authentic merchandise from their respective idols. It is not normal to collect things that may need you for quick psychological counseling like used chewing gum taken thrown in a trashcan or pieces of fallen hair of a particular idol scattered somewhere. Instead of displaying all the fallen hairs of your idol in your collection, just shove all the vinegar soaked fallen hair one by one up to your candy asses.

Angry Online Fans
They are rabid, they are scary, they threaten you with a premise of being beaten with a stick and be eaten alive, all in written glory. They are everywhere especially in a lot of social media sites and entertain message boards. They will find a minor and very overlooked flaw of their idols' competition, brag them in a thread then bam, a counter argument from the offended fan complete with at least one usage of profanity and another 500 plus post topic will be born. This fans have no ability to acknowledge other fan group.

Long Que Regulars
This is borderline insane, and mostly happened in other countries. This unfortunate souls are willing to wait for days and nights camping in line while waiting for their most awaited day, which is either the first day of a very expensive product launch or the first screening day of a popular movie. They just entertain themselves by recreating scenes from their other favorite movies through bad acting while being adored by their fellow idiots. Sometimes they even setup small tents as wide as the sidewalk they now stand and plays game consoles on their meticulously constructed outdoor entertainment system.

Extraordinary Creepy Stalkers
The cream of the crap fans that are really in need of proper help like being thrown inside of a rusty drum and enclosing it with a quick dry cement. They will follow their idols all over the place, even in provinces, of course, guided by the tweets of their idols. There are even cases that they will stand in front of their idol's homes and acting as if their idols know them. If you face them if they start bothering the star or disturbing other people, they will act hostile and threaten you with countless phrases that includes words like sue and any kind of profanity. If you checked out their room it will consist of photos of their idols splattered across 90% of the wall and an opened computer monitor tuned in the twitter of their idol.

Fans should not act creepy and not 100% hardcore in throwing your life away for the sake of your idol. Remember the idol you stalk is not your life, the person may not even acknowledge about your existence even if you stalked your idol in every single way possible . There is nothing wrong for being a fan, but not in a very retarded obsessive way. Just admire them and have a good life.

Impatience Pilipinas

The first ever automated, not 100% computerized, election begins. As expected from anything that has knobs, wires and other scary technical stuff, it has a big chance to malfunction and not work properly. Just like your cellphone, if something went wrong, the only logical thing to do is fix it. Unfortunately, a lot of PCOS machines as they call it goes haywire, starts vomiting and rejecting all the ballots. As the technicians try to fix the machines, combination of our patented tropical heat, long lines and PCOS machine with his paper rejecting skills, many voters choose to say eff it and goes home, and most of them has no plan to return in later time.

We are fine with things we want, like we are willing to stay for a least 2 hours standing in line, waiting for our turn to enter the movie theater. But when it comes to something very important to our life such as our contribution to the election and something goes wrong, we go impatient, starts biting vigorously to our remaining candy in our mouth and decides to head home, watch the TV and point while laughing to the people who chose to stay and kick the ass of our patented tropical heat.

We love to complain, starts finger-pointing and complain more. We are patient while waiting for your food in fine dining restaurants, you may apply this patience level while waiting for your turn to vote. Don't be a prick and just face the heat since we face the oven heat everyday, even at night. As the PCOS technicians starts reading the PCOS machines for dummies book while they fix the machine, you can do a lot of things while waiting like reading a newspaper, talking to your companions, playing with your PSP but still being alert to snatchers, making new friends to other people in line and other stuff.

Admittedly, I was never got myself registered for the election for reasons so many, so the phrase "if you are not registered, you have no right to complain" may somewhat apply to me but I want to all the registered voters just throw away their angst, wait patiently and exercise your right to vote, but please choose wisely. Don't worry you can still watch your favorite TV shows that you missed while voting through youtube, if you have a computer and a decent Internet access that is.

By the way if I had myself registered, my vote goes to Gibo Teodoro as president and Jejomar Binay as my vice president, despite my whole family is into Villar for the presidency.

Iron Man 2: A Humble Movie Revi... HOLY SHHH IT WAS AWESOME

Me and Rein just watched one of my most awaited movie of all time, which is Iron Man 2, and man, it delivered and so very awesome. But before we watched a movie, a disaster strikes, I accidentally bumped the rear bumper of the vehicle while parking, damn corner wall, anyway lets forget the metal dent and lets the dent the iron... the last line was lame.

Iron Sequel
The movie is just a basic continuation of the first movie and the government, a business rival and an angry tattooed physicist Russian wants to get on hold of Stark. Stark also deals with his own personal survival since the white chest thing that suppose to save his life is somewhat killing him. I won't spoil much but I guarantee you that this movie will be one of the best movies of the year, probably one of the best comic based movie ever.

Iron Cast
I am a regular movie fanatic but I am quite meticulous and anal when it comes to acting, fortunately, all of the did well. Robert Downey Jr.'s portrayal of Tony Stark is still remarkable and greatly replicates the comic counterpart. Mickey Rourke's Whiplash character, he was scary, bad ass and awesome. Scarlett Johannson's role is also noticeable good, she is subtle but deadly. Both Gwyneth Paltrow and Don Cheadle's performance were astonishing and I think Cheadle did a better job than that the original guy from the first movie. Overall, everyone did  awe-inspiring acting. Captain America's shield also made its cameo and I just love the way Stark handled the shield, pure hilarity dickness.

Iron Verdict
Like I said the movie is good, the story was well written and the only negative complain that I can say is that there are more talking than action. When you think a super hero movie you will expect 80% of the film consists of mind-blowing CGI action. In the end, I recommend this movie for everyone, even if you don't religiously followed the Iron Man comics you will enjoy it thoroughly. Have it in your collection once the original home video version is now in the market. I give this movie 4.5 of 5 stars, Iron stars... god the last line was lame, I think I to need sleep more.

Cream of the Crap Netizens

Almost everyone with a computer already know the Internet and just like you the reader, and me, the blogger of this blog, are netizens or whatever Internet cool slang some basement dweller make up.

There are a lot of  netizens all over the Internet and a good number of them uses the Internet for a good cause. I just love the way some netizens use the mainstream feature of the Internet to spread help like the way Philippines handled the Ondoy situation. Every good netizen has its own bad netizen, spread in many idiotic variations. Ladies and gentlemen, here are the cream of the crap netizens, which you can see them in a lot of message boards and blogs.

Radical Activist
This is kind of message board regulars who love to throw strong words after browsing an online thesaurus. They exchange lengthy discussions of certain issues packed with page eating links and attached badly photoshopped images to prove their point.

Always angry and loves to act like your creepy old philosophy professor and only thing missing is you can actually hear the guy voicing his opinions loud through a plug-in mic while choking his pet dog, poor puppy.

Internet Tough Guy
The online brave "bad asses" will respond to you with scary tough responses. Their posts include a photo of themselves, without a shirt, showing his "bad ass" tattoo, flexing their "bad ass" muscles,  holding a "bad ass" gun which he stole from a neighborhood toddler and challenging you to say the thing you said to him online to his face. He will effed you up so bad and you will scream for your uncle, my question is how will his "bad ass" punch goes to the 21 inch "bad ass" LCD monitor and to the face of the "sorry ass" enemy?

They will just scream on the plug-in mic and swears with every cursed word ever known by man, plus the ones invented by your "bad ass" posse, which consists of 2 persons from different countries who don't understand the English language.

The False Knight in Shining Armor
There is nothing wrong of defending or siding with someone, like a girl from another country and you hardly know a bit of info of her in life, on message board. This people expects immediately that they will receive something in return  for the minute you realized that she is a girl and in need of a great defending, something like sex or live strip show.

They are also known as "white knights" in some message board and stalk the girl vigorously just to get her attention. These knights repeatedly reminds that particular girl that she needs someone as brave and strong as him, while dripping saliva all over the keyboard, scratching the balls while typing his Shakespeare rejected sweet talks. Fortunately, most of I read is that the girls did the right thing, stomped them to hell.

Jejemons
I don't want to talk about the Jejemons anymore but the best and only way to describe them is they are the language molesters. If a written language has its own abuse landline number like Bantay-Bata, 90% of Jejemons worldwide will be send to jail in a form of  a nursery class, complete with cute star wall motifs, conducting basic alphabet and word lessons.

Narcissistic Know it alls
They assume that they are very important and the greatest thing in the world since the discovery of wheel.  This set of people like throwing strong words toward the victim, after reading a thesaurus of course to make look themselves smarter. They are also obsessed of nitpicking and degrade anyone they think ugly.

These lonely trying hard people are usually seen in message boards and when they see a photo of a very good-looking female, they will say she is ugly and rate them 4 out of 10 wherein the girl can fit in the 8-10 range. In reality, they are just a bunch of educated but fashionably retarded Jejemons hanging out in Internet Cafes all day.

Happy Time Whores
Sadly, a lot of women today, including the teens and even in their 20-30 range counterparts, are getting whorer than ever. They are easily manipulated to do online stripping and other degrading stuff for sheer enjoyment. Some do this to gain something from the viewer, like cash for their cellphone load but a big percentage of them do the sexy show for the heck of it.

Not only women show their skin to the great nation of Internet but men as well, millions of them. Just go to chatroulette.com and you will meet at least 1 guy self pleasuring on cam, thinking you are a female and immediately asks you to show your goods while jerking off vigorously and screaming like a pig.

They use the internet to troll and annoy around message boards and many websites. They fight in terrifying written words which emphasizes that they sound like the cream of a crop alpha male, which made 13-year-old directionless teen girls drop their panties in joy. In reality, they are mostly socially awkward, sexy time deprived, needs psychological rehab and needs a good tap on the head. If you meet one of them, just point, do a Nelson "Ha Ha" laugh and move on with your life while they scratch their head and muttering "what the fuck?".

Print Damn It!

As a graphic designer, one of the most important stuff in my life is a printer. Others use printers for their documents while in my profession, I use the printer to have my designs printed in an easy to hold printed form for presentation or as the actual output. Before I see my printer and give it an elbow drop because this article is giving me nightmarish flashbacks of printers being dicks, here are some of my Saturday night ramblings about ink vomiting hardware.

Heavy software
Printers in my opinion, is not be a burden to the user. Simply plug, install a few megabytes of drivers to make it acquainted with your computer and use it. Modern printers in the other hand, requires you to install heavy software around at least 100MB to make them work, wherein the installed software you are going to use  is the driver itself and forget the other software. Most of the time the bundled software is already outdated and the company being dick, requires you to download a heavier software via the Internet before you can use it.

Ink Color Incomplete? No Print!
Some of the modern printers are douchebags. They refuse to work with you if the color cartridge is empty even if you want to use black ink for black and white printing, like word documents.  On 4 ink based (CMYK - Cyan, Magenta, Yellow, Black/Key) printers, they will slap in your face by not working with you unless if the 4 inks are complete, even if you are only using one color that is full.

Ink Cartridges are insanely expensive
Inks are excessively too much for your budget and it is imperative to sell your organs or your soul just to buy a fresh one. It is a burden to have a chunk of percentage on your earnings just to get a new cartridge. Some say you may use the draft settings for print, but in my profession, 80% of time the settings is in either normal or best options. More usage of ink means less usage of your cash to your needs.

Paper destroyer
A lot of printers are hungry for expensive papers like photo and matte variations. They will eat your paper by jamming in their mouths and chew them vigorously to the point you can only reuse it as a scratch paper or as a crumpled imaginary basketball and tossed it in a trash can while screaming "I am the best basketball player bitch!!".

Refuse to print on inappropriate times
Don't you just love to throw your printer through the window when it dicks around and refuses to work properly on times you desperately need for a print out. You tried everything except hitting it with a kitchen sink yet the printer still doesn't want to print. Later, in an unexplainable reason, the printer acts normal and lets you print wherein you have less than 5 minutes before hitting the deadline.

Just like every computer peripheral in existence, printers are assholes and provides unnecessary headaches. The ink cartridges are also need be cheaper and very accessible to common consumers because logically, without an ink, you can't use a printer, unless your printer has a built-in ink factory inside and disperse Ice cold tea. Now print, damn it!

Somewhere in Youtube: The Insane True Story Behind the Birth of the Internet

The Language Molestors

Since Internet and its all broadband glory is already in the mainstream, a lot of people uses the Internet to exchange ideas and inputs. Since many people are partaking the great Internet concept, there is still a percentage of users labeled as Jejemons.

Jejemon? what the fudge?
Admittedly I have no idea on what a Jejemon yet I met them almost everyday especially on local message boards. I just learned the term a week ago and I realized they are literally a lot of them, thousands of them. A Jejemon uses an absurd language which is a localized and modified version of 1337 speak or leet speak or as I called it as idiot speak. 1337 speak is what the foreign online gamers and computer geeks used to communicate with each other, their own language widely used by young Internet athletes, which consists of basement dwellers and has a phobia of outside life.

A simple he he he is not hard to type
The term Jejemon is taken from the murdered phrase of  "he he he". From the universally known "he he he" was tragically converted into "je je je". Some others say it all started with a typo like how "owned" turned  into "pwned" but repeatedly using the letter J instead of letter H is pure bullcrap. They love to put unnecessary letters to words to make it longer, for the reason I don't know why. Another characteristic of this idiocy is to mix both lower and upper case of a letter, in one word. An example is the word hello, if  molested by a Jejemon, HeLouwH is the new word. Combining similar sounding letters side by side to make it more complicated like the word afternoon turns into AfPterNuN.


Jejemons, the Younger Years
Actually the Jejemon phenomenon is not new, they are just more prevalent than before because the easy accessibility of the broadband Internet. Back when I was just starting using the net, around 97 or 98, a lot of Jejemons already spread their language nonsense throughout the cyberspace. Internet back then is still not a mainstream thing and I got my first taste of Internet access inside of our old school library. Some of them are actually my old friends in high school and they are usually hang around in MIRC and the early versions of Yahoo Chats. Fortunately I never adopt Jejemonesque language, the closest similar language I use online are the usual Internet slangs like LOL, ROFL and Full of Win.

Jejemons, the Modern Crap
Now, the modern Jejemons dances around in the Internet, especially in big social sites. In my observation there are just a bunch of directionless male teenagers who acts like stereotype hispanic gangsters, throwing ridiculous hand signs and wearing outrageous clothes while inside of a public Internet café, wasting the hard-earned money of their parents through being idiots in the Internet. Unfortunately, they are a lot of female Jejemons, I think they greater in numbers than their male counterparts. You know the type, excited teen girls and doing cutesy stuff in the Internet, communicating each other through their murdered language and does other stuff  a lot of modern teens enjoy, which includes stripping themselves and doing shows online naked. Sadly, there are 20+ Filipinos who still do the Jejemon crap and should face a repeatedly stabbing with a broken keyboard to the head.

A way to lessen the number of Jejemons is don't feed on their idiocy. Still The best thing to fight Jejemons is simply take the Internet and the computer itself away from them and put them back to school, probably all the way down to basic Nursery level language class.

The Kids Aren't Alright

Last Saturday, we did a photo shoot for a client, and in the middle of the session, 4 teenage kids, related to the client I suppose,  entered the scene and start acting what I really hate, which is being annoying dicks, which consists of obnoxiously noisy and doing a quick sexy time outside of the studio where they thought no one can see their pre-marital deed. I asked myself what the heck is wrong with today's youth today, well not all of them. Let say 60% of current generation of teenagers are a bunch of..... well, dicks.

Before I grab an annoying directionless kid and show them an non-Internet life called "real life", here are some my observations and inputs on why some of the kids aren't alright this days. Remember, I always say SOME, not all of them because there are still a crop of teenagers who can do wonders in the future. Lastly, yes, my topic title is an Offspring song, kick ass.

SEXYcitement Time
Younger generations are more sexually active today. They are really excited, way excited when it comes to sexy time. I know teenage life is where you will know the birds and the bees crap but damn, some of them already know the stuff before hitting 13. I thought liberated teenagers only associated to foreign teens, but  now it applies with local teens, complete with strap showing contests with each others. It is scary now it is easier to get to someone's pants with just a few sweet talk and all that crap.

Camwhore Galore
I still don't get teen's obsession of taking their photos in their underwear in their under aged glory, in a weird upper right corner and posting in the Internet. Later, they will cry and have their "emotional breakdown" when the photo goes to places even Google does not want to archive.

Emo Crapload
They are really emotional, I mean super emotional to the point you will think is this just an act or your overacting skills powered of being an emotional junkie is really convincing. It's like it's the end of the world if you partner of one week, which you only met through social sites, dumped you over to a foreigner 30ish guy she also met online. Sadly, a lot of them cut themselves with rusty cardboard cutter and end their life in an instant.

Pussified
Maybe being sheltered for a long time and luring them away from the real world, they cannot handle instances where being strong is a big need. Example, they will go overreact if he or she got a little wound, but before getting the proper treatment, they will go hysterical and sometimes cry in one corner. If they met a problem, instead of facing it directly, they will just rely to someone who will handle the situation while you, the pussified person, is smiling and continue updating his Facebook status via a mobile phone.

Cannot survive without their daily dose of Internet
I know, I know, Internet is an essential everyday tool, but come on, lessen your online presence and, you know, hang out with your friends and go places. Hanging out with your close friends is simply, very good for your life.

Jejemons or whatever you called it
They have an insane fetish of destroying written words in every despicable way. The weird thing is they actually understand and communicate each other through their murdered language. This "Jejemons" or simply idiots is usually seen in a lot of message boards and social sites. At first I don't have any idea on what the heck is a Jejemon so I googled it, and in few seconds felt sad to the 60% of the youth.

Brash and very impolite
Every generation of teenagers has its own line of disrespectful and impolite chunks which I am guilty of. Now, there are more brash, disrespectful and impolite to their elders. Nowadays you can no longer see the line between the elders and teens in terms of respect. They are all talk but when it is time to face the problem, they will go in pussified mode.

Lazier than Garfield
Maybe I blame their parents for this but a lot of today's teens are lazy and being spoon fed with a silver spoon from left and right. There is no balance of learning new stuff through insistent hard work and consistent perseverance. No more sense of responsibility for the kids today and that's why a lot of unwanted pregnancies, early unfortunate deaths, juvenile detainees and kids with no future emerged.

Teenage life is what a lot of considered the best stage of our life so don't waste it in the drain. Be firm and strong and don't throw away your life because some idiot that you plan to marry in 10 years left you for another idiot.Balance fun and hard work which will lead you to a good life once you exited the awkward years. Lastly and the most important thing to remember for teenagers is not be a dick.

Of Countrymen, Of Easily Get Offended, Of Hypocrisy, Of Lets Rally

As I write this, I predict there will be instantly a bunch of radical students from a school that somewhat includes rally in part of their daily curriculum to stage a strike in front of my home. Sadly, Filipinos are easily get offended with things that is easily be settled in a snap of finger. Sometimes they go bonkers and do rallies for the sake of rallying. They also stage a rally to celebrate a rally. This is one of the several reasons we can't move forward because simply, they can't let go, being idiot and overall showing a big percentage of hypocrisy.

I don't consider myself an all the way perfect person, but darn, just let it go, do something productive and move on.  As I constantly check the window of my home for a sign of picket signs, here are some things the Filipinos, and probably from other nations, easily get offended and other similar crap. They respond to this by swearing to their ancestors that they will do everything in their power to get themselves hear, like screaming profusely on the mic of a reporter or burning a very creative effigy, which sadly where there creative skills go to instead of using it to put food on their tables.

Generalizing a country based from the fault of a single person
Blaming a whole county from one person's shenanigans. Some of our countrymen are unfortunately fickle minded and using one person's mindset to label the country is the same. There was an incident, an isolated incident in Canada that a Filipino kid received with disciplined with his Canadian teacher due to using spoon and fork while eating. Of course, when the news reached locally, our dear fighters staged a rally in front of the Canadian embassy and blames the freaking country from it.

Insane fetish of backstabbing fellow-men
Some of the Filipinos are gullible, judgemental and has a huge, and I mean bigger than Mt. Apo obsession of destroying other people through obvious faked gossips and other shenanigans.

Finding reasons just to bash someone
Singing the national anthem in your own rendition that sounded right? they will label you as a heretic and must perished by receiving more crap from this people. Another country's national anthem  was gracefully performed by three girls in bikinis and you don't hear them whining about it. They will find a very, very deep flaw or loophole and sensationalize it like they just won the lottery.

Doing rally work instead of productive work
We know one way to get your voice heard is conducting a rally but come on, you have only a slight chance to receive on whatever you demand these days. Instead of joining the rallies, just simply do something that can put food on your table on that day, like working hard. We all know the hardships and everything but the only one can help you live is yourself.

Staging a rally to celebrate a rally
Why would you even do that? staging a rally means voicing out your inner rage not commemorate a previous one. I think they already have a calendar labeled with dates of past rallies in order to conduct an unnecessary rally on that day.

One negative comment = From the hood hilarious Gangsta style replies, lots of them
Filipinos, I mean, some Filipinos are so sensitive when someone from other country or race said something negative about us. Yet, the Filipinos just love stabbing each other with negative stuff and those crap. If you respond to them, write it right and not make it worse. From the recent Adam Carolla fiasco, I read some of the angry rants of our fellow countrymen (just google it, you will find tons of them) which consists of words cock, fuck, cock, fuck, cock, and a little of internet tough guy jargon which goes something like "yOu BETTA cOme Over HERE you ADam Fucking cAROLLA! you Will have Your FUCKING DIck in the FuckIng Ground!". Oh my jeebus, what the heck is wrong with you? really, what is wrong with you? Fortunately, Adam Carolla already made an apology after receiving, and probably laughing at 20% of these replies from our dear fellow country men, they still continue lambasting him and just can't let go.

Everything is easily settled if you know how to move on, respond in a very diplomatic way, not back stab each other like crazy and not have the negative crap drilled on your brain 24/7. Let them speak and say on whatever crap they can throw to us as long as you mind your own business and be productive accompanied with hard work and determination. Fortunately for me, I see no picket lines being formed around the house. Time to go back to McDonalds and complain profusely and starts throwing things around the restaurant, since I got a large coke wherein I should get a regular coke, a regular coke damnit!

Effin Parking

One of the most important factor of a place you are visiting when you bring a car is  a good parking space. Here in Manila, parking your car is one of those moments that you think is not a problem in the first place but it is not and eats a certain percent of your budget every week. Time for some little rambling and a slice of rampaging complaints from yours truly.

Meted parking means a new stage of cancer to your wallet
I prefer paying fixed parking rates because you can set a proper weekly budget for it. I always parked in Rada st. in Legazpi village, Makati City where the fee is only 60 pesos (around 1 point something dollars) for the day. Meted parking can kill your wallet due to your unpredictable length of your stay in the office or somewhere else.  A good 8 hour meted parking can give you a 120 pesos  (around 2 to 3 dollars) worth of headache but what if you need to give an overtime work, and god knows when can you leave from the office. The total amount of your parked can reached up to 150 or 200 pesos (around 5 to 6 dollars) if you stay beyond 8 hours.

The parking authority is not responsible for lost belongings and damages to your vehicle... thank you for your payment.
After handing a hard-earned cash to the parking attendant, they instantly don't care if your well cared vehicle is suddenly damaged by something like a fallen tree trunk or some idiot throwing a piece of coin from the top of a building. They will just also shrug if something's taken from your car, even if there is an obvious big cracked glass on your car and one of the car air freshener is missing. Its their responsibility to watch over your car since you pay them for the parking fee, which is someway is part of their salary. They even have uniformed security guards inside in the parking lots, yet they are not responsible and liable for anything, they are just there, twirling their imaginary nightstick and gossiping with the female parking attendants.

Parking spaces is very inadequate
There are obviously more cars than roads and public parking spots combined. With that premise, they must find new locations and ways to improve the number of parking spots. There are a lot of abandoned and dilapidated buildings here in Makati especially the one near Convergies. A parking company should invest on that building and convert it into a multi-level parking lot. In malls, they should divide it with 60% more on the parking and 40% on the real establishment, that is if that particular mall has a thousands of visitors everyday.

Douchebags drivers in parking lot
Like what I always say, douchebags are everywhere, even in parking lots. If you find a good parking spot and they see you, 100% of time they will accelerate, cut you off and go ahead to that spot. I just ignore them and find another spot which I highly recommend if you are still a sane and civilized person. It's better not to face them because who knows, they might as crazy as that Ivler guy. Let the douchebags fight with other idiot drivers since they battle for the sake of... fighting and looking more macho than each other. You go kill each other while I park my car over here.

Parking should be free, and lots of parking spaces, lots of it
Since you pay for the parking spot, and yet the parking authority is not responsible and other crap of your car, just make it free. The owners risked their vehicles from theft and damages so its pointless to have the space for you car and pay for it, especially if it is a meted parking lot. Since the security personnel is not doing anything at all to safeguard the vehicles, just twirling and thinking how bad ass looking they are, even if they look like can easily beaten up by a bunch of 8-year-old kids, just leave it free, as simple as that.

Somewhere In North

Me and Rein went somewhere north to spend our holy week / vacation time. We ate, swam, go places, and ate more. Basically we wasted our time over there, but at the same time we went to see the traditional holy week stuff, like watching the guys carrying the cross and self- whippers while wearing a crown made of thorns and leaves. Oh man.. back to reality again once Monday hits again.

One Big Elevated Poster: Stage Design Tips

Its been a while I wrote something graphic design related. Currently majority of my work consists of designing structural stuff like an event stage. One of the most important factor of an event is where the host will do the emcee work, particularly a stage. Even if it is just a little raised area in the middle of the venue it is still considered as a stage. Here are some tips, rules and ideas before designing the stage, both simple and complex ones.

1. Initially, you should already have the idea of the area where the stage stands. A stage always consist of the backdrop (main background) and the platform (where the hosts and the event itself placed).


2. Get the width size of the area and importantly the size of the "floor to ceiling height". The height will be your basis of the backdrop area of the stage. In all, the backdrop size consists of width and height.


3. The  height of the backdrop should not reach the ceiling. Try using at least 2 feet down from the floor to ceiling height. For example if you have 10 feet floor to ceiling height of the area, you may consider a 7-8 feet (height) backdrop size.


4. The platform's width is the same with the width size of the backdrop unless the client wants a longer platform.


5. If necessary, work with stage and floorplan layout back to back at the same time for consistency of the size.


6. Once you got the basic sizes (Platform: Width, Depth, Height and backdrop: Width, Height) you may start designing the design itself.


7. Lastly, always check on the limits (like will the backdrop be using tarpaulin or bunch of die cutting all over the stage) before engaging on the real design.

Thats it, some tips before submerging yourself to the stage design. Design it with a mindset of thinking you are just creating a poster. Now go create that one big elevated poster.

Internet is serious business... can give you serious issues

We are online at least once a day, like what I always say, being online, through your mobile or in a computer, is very essential tool for our daily lives, it provide us with entertainment, time-wasting activity generator and of course profit. In the end, there should still be a limit of being online and not affecting your real life with all the crap the internet has to offer,  its time to cut off the access before it developed into a full-blown internet addiction, complete with having a session with an Internet addict anonymous group, which unfortunately exists.

Pointless Updates From Out of Nowhere
With the power of mobile internet, you can absolutely use the net anywhere. In the end , you don't need to put unnecessary and very pointless Facebook status and tweets that only you and your personal stalker will care. Your personal stalker will deed every time you post a single update in directionless intervals, even if it is pointless (like you just ate your favorite ice cream), you saw a celebrity (slightly interesting) or you saw an Elephant crashing from the skies (that is very interesting.)

Your DVD/Beta/VHS/VCD/Laser Disc movie collection is... collecting dust
When was the last time you actually bought an original movie that is in a physical case? in my opinion, movies in physical format is still superior than watching your hard drive eating movies from your computer or other similar devices. It sucks whenever you watched a streaming movie buffers due to your internet speed. At least you are not worrying about disk space of your computer. It is also awkward to watch a movie, in a small screen, shaking like crazy while you are inside of a vehicle, with your headphones on your ears.

Getting REALLY angry in message boards, chatrooms, etc
Message boards is a way to interact with other people, some good but mostly dicks. Don't go bonkers whenever you read something that is not right, like someone responding negatively from your entry. Maybe have a respond and have a good debate of some sort but don't bring it up in real life. If you can't let go your rage because someone fought you online with harsh words and emoticons with angry faces, which should not bother you in the first place, just find any flash games that involves explosions and shooting to release your anger.

You can't last a short time without checking your email
It's okay to check your email regularly, especially if it is work related, but there are times you don't need to check your email, especially if you are in appropriate place and time, like in a funeral or having a well deserved vacation. You don't need to keep on clicking the "new mail" every chance you can, even if it is clearly there is no fresh email arriving. It is not your problem if someone from a different time zone, country and with "all work no rest" mentality send you an email with a time stamp of 2:32 AM local time, and you go in a paranoid trance because you did not get a chance to read his email, at 2:32 AM, wherein you should be resting and catching some zzzs. That is why there is a determined work time at the office, that's when you can check the email from a guy that has no life.

Constantly checking updates
Opposite of you constantly updating your status. This time, you are the one, probably the personal stalker of someone, stares at the screen, awaiting for any kind of update since you know the person is online. You just can't wait to know what he ate for his lunch, was it a Tuna sandwich his dear mother made or a corned beef sandwich he taken from a gasoline station from the other side of the city? This disorder also applies to surfers who refreshes a web page with a patterned interval just to see a latest update, even if the writer of the site is somewhere taking a coffee break.

You are more productive in online games than in real life
You earn millions, has a set of houses and have a successful restaurant, all in online game formats of course. In real life, you barely reached a substantial income every month, you still pay to your run down house, and still eating in same old restaurant. If you can be productive in online games, even if the premise were ridiculous and easy to win, just use that drive in real life to be successful in real life. Who knows, using your own developed strategies raising cattle online is the way to lead you in a better tomorrow.

Just use the Internet in moderation, even if it is redundantly everyday. Just balanced everything and remember that the most important thing ever is that you have a life outside of all those cables and tubes called the Internet