Ahh, the Guinness Book of World Records, where prestigious and holy crap that's mind-blowing quality world records compiled. It's like a handy collection of interesting facts and unique findings like the identities of world's tallest man and world's oldest living person.
Filipinos on the other hand, are kind of attention whores like finding ways just to start a rally where the world can see. Since the closest interesting Philippine world record is Imelda Marcos' insane shoe collection, a lot of our dear countrymen, for the sake of having a world record, decided just to make one, I'm sorry, what I mean is a lot of them.
Here are some "what the hell dude" and maybe unnecessary Philippine world records. Some recognized by the Guinness staff while shaking their head with a thought bubble on top of their heads written "how did they come up with this stuff?".
Most number of couple simultaneously liplocking
This became an annual event few years ago when they try to outkiss other countries for the sake of having the most number of couple kissing at the same time. Philippines broke the record from Chile, and they try to keep the title by recruiting more couples to share their saliva just to have a Guinness sprinkle dusted certificate.
Pictured: Kicking the ass of the previous record holder
The reason I included this and I loath this record is they are causing traffic since I always pass that area when I go home. Damn them and their wish to have a world record.
Most number of people tooth brushing at the same time.
Oral hygiene, a very definite need for everyday people. Another way to get world record is to just enlarged the number of people brushing their teeth. Like the most number of kissing, they just organized a big ass event, complete with sponsors. get tons of children from a lot of schools and simultaneously brush their teeth, bam! a world record.
One Nation, Under Toothbrush
Good thing they managed to have a good rationality to have that event, they promote good dental hygiene. Unlike the other one, I am not sure if a mass couple kissing has a good rationale. Or simply, maybe they just want a world record.
Most number of breast-feeding at the same time
Another proudly Philippine world record. Again, another event with a good rationale, to promote breast-feeding, which is best for the babies, also for the daddies (boo! get off the stage). They have a big number of mothers participating in the event and...
Wait a minute
This analysis needs science
Lets see other Philippine world records
I see, there are two methods to make our own world records.
First, stuff people do
- Just pick something a number of people can do, like kite flying or drinking from a glass
- Get some people, hopefully thousands of them. Telling them they will be on TV will entice them further to join your world record attempt
- Go get some media and lots of sponsors
- Do what Filipinos are famous for, sensationalize like there is no tomorrow
- Organize the event and don't forget to call Guinness, the company, not the guy, to let them know you are about to make a world record, like most number of people drinking water from a glass at the same time
- Do the event, count the heads who participated, high-five each other and we have our world record etched in next years edition of Guinness, the book, not the guy. "
Where is Guinness? SHOW ME!
Second, with food
- Think of something that is edible, like rice cakes and sandwiches
- Get some people who knows how to do your selected dish
- Do some sweet talking with your local government or private sector for funds to buy truckload of ingredients. Don't forget to give them a cut, around 60%
- Go get some media and lots of sponsors
- Do what Filipinos are famous for, sensationalize like there is no tomorrow
- Organize the event and block a very long ass street and place your world record-breaking dish.
- Don't forget to call Guinness, the company, not the guy, to let them know you are about to make a world record, like longest line of rice cakes
- Do the event, measure the total length of said food, buy more measuring tape if necessary, high-five each other and we have our world record etched in next years edition of Guinness, the book, not the guy.
The Philippines, probably other countries do this method to create a world record, something to brag on their neighboring cities and provinces. There is gotta be something interesting world record that don't rely on sheer numbers. Well, there is one, and he is a king.
Sili King
Sili or chili, one of the hottest edible things ever invented by God. We all know eating too much spicy food can be an unpleasant experience because sometimes it effed up your stomach, your breathe and your drinking water supply. The Sili King, sans an actual crown, wears his imaginary cape and royal scepter, probably with a chili like motif, proudly shares to the world his ability to downed at least 350 pieces of Chili in a way of a common folk eating his favorite snack while watching television.
Artist rendition of Sili King during his prince days.
Everyone gotta start somewhere
I am not quite sure if this is the same guy who did a similar stunt way back in late 90s on national television wherein after eating a crapload of chilies, he celebrated his victory by suffering a high-blood attack and being treated by a medical team.
On the other hand, there are probably others try to attempt to secure a world record, maybe some of them fall on obscurity and never reached the media while others, well, they got universally known because they failed to get that covenant world record, even after the sheer number formula is followed.
The failed most number of simultaneous circumcision world record attempt
Well, circumcision is a very important part of a man's life. The organizers have a good intention but failed because the Guinness does not recognize the number of medical procedures within a set time or in a mass group due to hygiene considerations and risks. They also said medical procedures like cutting the foreskin of a guy should be undertaken only on the advice of a doctor and the patients' welfare should always be the primary concern.
Pictured: Circumcision
Maybe the organizers should consult first with the Gods of World Records before doing the world record. The good thing though, they circumcised the kids for free, a noble act despite the original intent was to have a world record.
The essence of world record recognition starts to diminished when the record attempts became competitive in nature between countries. A world record, in my opinion, must be unique, unintentional in origin, interesting and importantly not fabricated.
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