What we need? A throwback to the awesomeness of Pinoy Action Movies

You do know I am an easily amused movie buff. Whenever I do my movie reviews here I just say on what I just felt, and not providing lengthy unnecessary rants that includes philosophical bullshit, finding stronger adjectives in dictionary to include in the review and being an élite movie dick.

If you read some  of my movie reviews you can see I am a big action movie fan (with Heat being my favorite movie of all time). My obsession with guns, explosions and death-defying actions sequences, the main ingredients of a typical action movie actually started way back in the 80s, particularly Philippine action movies.

Yes, Philippine action movies, which is, sadly, now extinct in favor of following movie genres eating the box office, even some of the stories are utterly stupid and terrible.

• Love stories that involves infidelities galore with a sudden sex scene thrown from out of nowhere
• Comedies that relies on cheap shocks and making you dumber while watching
• Horror with horrific production values.... and poor execution of jump scares
• Overuse of sequels with storylines that are sickening to stomach and probably written in one seating while drinking his specially requested frap (with cream) and hogging the free wi-fi of the shop

Now, they are gone, but back then, they were the king, then the late 90s bold movie era came, and the action genre was no longer a priority. A Filipino action movie always follow the same formula, we introduce the good guy who always wear a leather jacket and sometimes a white Karate like headband around his gel powered hair.  He has a strong sense of duty, very manly and he has a hot leading lady, a prerequisite for the protagonist.

The Ultimate Form of Philippine Action Hero

The bad guys, consist of one main antagonist and surrounded by his henchmen that all wears shades and leather jackets, carrying an M-16 even if their boss is just eating his dinner, inside his luxurious mansion located somewhere in Alabang, and the boss should always wear white when in his turf. They should always have white Mercedes-Benz and when his henchmen screw up he must say "MGA INUTIL, IISA LANG SIYA DI NIYO PA MAPATAY (Stupid! he is only one man and you can't even kill him?).

Alberto Del Rio: Your Modern Day Suave Great Pacquito Diaz

The climax always begin when the bad guys do something horrendous to someone related to the good guy, like murder or in extreme situations, raping his leading lady, complete with satanic laugh while doing the deed. Of course, the protagonist will rage and will do a commando one man assault to his enemies, which is strangely always in an abandon warehouse filled with corroded drums.

The last showdown before the main guy shooting the main bad guy dead they need to throw some heartfelt words to each other before throwing bullets in the air. In the end, the good guy prevails, the police arrives in the scene very late and starts grabbing surviving bad guys and ignores the protagonists even he is clearly wielding a gun, covered in bullet wounds and carrying the knowledge that he just killed a number of people. Even if the cliché premise sounds, you know, stupid in today's standard, but it was effin awesome and was effin entertaining.

With all my heart officer, I did not killed the bad guys and burned their place

, really

Last year I watched the Stallone directed film, the Expendables. A modernize throw back to the 80s action movie vibe when Sylvester and others reigned supreme. It was entertaining, sometimes cheesy but they delivered the most important factor of an action film, being it over the top.

Now I hope someone in movie industry will do a Stallone and create an action movie that has everything 80s Filipino action movie stuff on it. Here are some of my choices for the movie, and most of them has background with action movies so they are surely know their stuff. For the benefit of awesome cheesiness, as suggested by a friend, we will name the movie COBRA SQUAD: MGA BERDUGO NG MAYNILA 

Protagonists
Lito Lapid (The current Cobra Squad leader)
Jestoni Alarcon
Ronnie Rickets
Bong Revilla Jr.
Monsour Del Rosario
Erap Estrada (as Cobra Squad co-founder, mentor character)
FPJ (as Cobra Squad co-founder, an in-movie tribute to the king)

Antagonists
Eddie Guiterrez (the leader of the bad guys, the governor of a nearby province)
Eddie Garcia
Rez Cortez
Edu Manzano
Dick Israel 
Pacquito Diaz (another in-movie subtle tribute, maybe they can say he is the sole reason the Cobra Squad exist)

So far they are the only ones that I can think of. Here are the some of the things the movie needed.

• Only use rundown cars for later explosions
• Every character should wear at least a leather jacket
• The leading ladies for the good guys must show wholesome in image
• The women for the bad guys should look slutty and must use hair spray... a lot
• The last showdown's site is a broken down warehouse, full of flaming drum cans
• For the sound effects, only use the authentic old sound effects. The sound of the punch and the kick should only be one
• Everyone uses an M-16, a couple of hand gun and a bazooka with that distinctive "shiwup" sound effect.
• Show some things that made some actors famous like the bullet splitting technique of Lito Lapid
• A vintage sounding theme song is a must, probably sung by VST and Co. or Hagibis.

Maybe include in the Metro Manila Film Festival, even if they have a big chance of not winning the big ones (the horrible ones always win, well except Baler, that one was awesome). Even if the movie will probably fail in terms of box office because of a movie with an actor who has an uncanny ability to show different emotions through one emotion will destroy the movie in sales due to his rabid fans, the movie will most likely have decent cult fans and will demand a sequel.

Well, we can all dream and enjoy your day.

Is the Nocturnalfrolic: The Best Time Waster Blog Ever... Dead Again?

Nope, I was just preoccupied with a lot of work and I kind of run out of creative juice when it comes to writing stuff for the blog, again.

There are instances I wrote a lengthy post wherein I immediately throw it out and try to create a new one from scratch due to uninspired outputs.

I even tried to start two other blogs (a design blog and a Philippine humor photo blog) but I did not pushed through since this blog alone, I don't regularly update, yet alone post content to other blogs, so it was a futile attempt.

Still from time to time (maybe at least one to two times per month),  I will try my best to waste your time more by writing more nifty and original content.

Thank you for sharing your wasted time on my blog.

Boom! Headline!

News, a piece of information that happened in a specified date and time. TV, a medium to deliver information and entertainment. TV and news, a match made in heaven if you want to get stories on everything, from a local spectacle to sports results.

It got motion and audio, something you cannot get from a newspaper. Sometimes we can actually see a breaking news in real-time, complete with lots of running and screaming in fear when gun sounds echoes around the news. What possibly go wrong with this scenario?

Raging Reporters
Majority of TV reporters today rely on over sensationalize all of things They tend to speak in angryesque way, complemented with super serious expression as if someone really rubbed that guy in a bad way. It is like they are having a roid rage without steroids and experiencing sugar rush without the sugar. The voice, the goddamn voice, is ear-piercing and you want to give elbow drop to your TV set.

Grrr, we have a a huge oil rollback (snort)

Sometimes, I think those reporters experience daily heart attacks when they speak on the mic. I remember hearing on radio, reporting positive things but if you listen to his voice, you will probably thinking you are listening to a pissed off Incredible Hulk. Other reporters love to speak in deep voice which sound like a butch tomboy who tries to speak like a man.

A TV reporter is a professional work.You must speak clearly, concise and just right in terms of volume delivery, even if your network's market is essentially jejemons and D-Z classes.

Asking stupid questions
There are times I want to magically appear on TV set, behind the reporter who just asked a stupid question and hit him with a baseball bat repeatedly.

How's your day? fiery happy?

I don't why they keep on asking questions with obvious answers for the longest time. If you asked someone who just has his house burned down to the ground the question, how do you feel? what do you think will be his response?

If there is a foreign celebrity who hit the country probably for a concert and when they have a press conference, they will ask the visiting celebrity with cliché Philippines narcissistic questions (especially such celebrity is 1% Filipino) like what do you think of our world-class food? do you like our jeepneys? can you say MAHAL KO KAYO (I love you all) in your funny accent while? instead of asking right questions like hows your stay, how are you and are you excited for the concert.

Saying really stupid stuff
There are reporters and journalists who are just plain stupid. This pack of idiots say things that are inappropriate, unnecessary and full of crap. They like being involved with the news than reporting it to the people. Like the bus hostage crisis last year, a reporter actually say on national TV on where are the real positions of the snipers, wherein the hostage taker has a TV inside the bus and listening on every god damn detail poured by the reporters. Maybe the situation will be not in a bloody mess if the reporter did not say the positions in the first place and the outcome maybe different.

I can't control my fetish of being part of the news

There was another one wherein the reporter starts reporting the effectiveness of speed limit implementation over at the killer highway called Commonwealth via the use of a radar gun. Everything was all good when the reporter starts asking what are the cons of the radar gun, and the MMDA guy spilled all the limits of the radar gun while fast and furious wannabe drivers starts digesting the secrets, probably high-fiving with other lunatic drivers and try to abuse the radar gun's weaknesses.

Excessive Self branding
A reporter's job is just share the news to the world, not brag to the whole world that you are a journalist filled with integrity and all those sparkling crap.

Aside from reporting, I also invented world peace

We get you want to impart your "goodness" to the world through responsible journalism but the only way to meet responsible journalism is responsibly report the news and not have your opinions or rant involve, we don't care, we just want the news.

Reporting unnecessary and very uninteresting news
Sadly, there are more of those kind of news than real legit news. Stories like a dancing cat or an old man with a jumping fetish, they will broadcast it to the world, accompanied with stupid banter. This kind of news usually prevails in showbiz industry, with news like "actress gained 4 pounds, she is now a fat person" and "actor and another actor, seen together on someones birthday" good TV, isn't it?

He gained 1 pound! WE GOT THE EXCLUSIVE NEWS

It's like they are having orgasm when they hear something from their favorite actor or actress, and I thought showbiz new circle around  TV, movie and other related projects than the private lives of the performers.

Sensationalize everything, especially the bad news
A very bad Filipino trait, an insane obsession to sensationalize everything. I don't know whats the news  gathering group's fetish of collecting more bad news than the positive ones. They get the news, then we got the reporters with countless awards and trophies that makes Ultimo Dragon's championship collection like nothing, smiles on the camera and subtly screaming at you with the news.

His championship collection is worth sensationalizing

They even have over-edited video package for some news, complete with intense zoom in and zoom out effects, with a score that sounds like the end of the world is coming, yet the news is all about a scandal of some sort.

The masses love those kind of stuff, throwing sensationalized news to their faces and probably clapping in delight at the same time. And don't get me started with showbiz news, goddamn, I can write a whole article from it. I can't blame the country since we are one of the most gossip addicts nation in the world, well that is a good World record, lets call Guinness, the company, not the guy.

Sheer Numbers: A Philippine Way to have a World Record

Ahh, the Guinness Book of World Records, where prestigious and holy crap that's mind-blowing quality world records compiled. It's like a handy collection of interesting facts and unique findings like the identities of world's tallest man and world's oldest living person. 

Filipinos on the other hand, are kind of attention whores like finding ways just to start a rally where the world can see. Since the closest interesting Philippine world record is Imelda Marcos' insane shoe collection, a lot of our dear countrymen, for the sake of having a world record, decided just to make one, I'm sorry, what I mean is a lot of them. 

Here are some "what the hell dude" and maybe unnecessary Philippine world records. Some recognized by the Guinness staff while shaking their head with a thought bubble on top of their heads written "how did they come up with this stuff?". 

Most number of couple simultaneously liplocking

This became an annual event few years ago when they try to outkiss other countries for the sake of having the most number of couple kissing at the same time. Philippines broke the record from Chile, and they try to keep the title by recruiting more couples to share their saliva just to have a Guinness sprinkle dusted certificate. 

Pictured: Kicking the ass of the previous record holder

The reason I included this and I loath this record is they are causing traffic since I always pass that area when I go home. Damn them and their wish to have a world record.

Most number of people tooth brushing at the same time.

Oral hygiene, a very definite need for everyday people. Another way to get world record is to just enlarged the number of people brushing their teeth. Like the most number of kissing, they just organized a big ass event, complete with sponsors. get tons of children from a lot of schools and simultaneously brush their teeth, bam! a world record. 

One Nation, Under Toothbrush

Good thing they managed to have a good rationality to have that event, they promote good dental hygiene. Unlike the other one, I am not sure if a mass couple kissing has a good rationale. Or simply, maybe they just want a world record.

Most number of breast-feeding at the same time

Another proudly Philippine world record. Again, another event with a good rationale, to promote breast-feeding, which is best for the babies, also for the daddies (boo! get off the stage). They have a big number of mothers participating in the event and...

Wait a minute

This analysis needs science

Lets see other Philippine world records

World's Longest Barbeque

World's Largest Salad

World's Largest Durian Candy Bar

World's Longest Mat

I see, there are two methods to make our own world records.

First, stuff people do

• Just pick something a number of people can do, like kite flying or drinking from a glass
• Get some people, hopefully thousands of them. Telling them they will be on TV will entice them further to join your world record attempt
• Go get some media and lots of sponsors
• Do what Filipinos are famous for, sensationalize like there is no tomorrow
• Organize the event and don't forget to call Guinness, the company, not the guy, to let them know you are about to make a world record, like most number of people drinking water from a glass at the same time
• Do the event, count the heads who participated, high-five each other and we have our world record etched in next years edition of Guinness, the book, not the guy. "
  

 

Where is Guinness? SHOW ME!

Second, with food

• Think of something that is edible, like rice cakes and sandwiches
• Get some people who knows how to do your selected dish
• Do some sweet talking with your local government or private sector for funds to buy truckload of ingredients. Don't forget to give them a cut, around 60%
• Go get some media and lots of sponsors
• Do what Filipinos are famous for, sensationalize like there is no tomorrow
• Organize the event and block a very long ass street and place your world record-breaking dish.
• Don't forget to call Guinness, the company, not the guy, to let them know you are about to make a world record, like longest line of rice cakes
• Do the event, measure the total length of said food, buy more measuring tape if necessary, high-five each other and we have our world record etched in next years edition of Guinness, the book, not the guy. 

The Philippines, probably other countries do this method to create a world record, something to brag on their neighboring cities and provinces. There is gotta be something interesting world record that don't rely on sheer numbers. Well, there is one, and he is a king.

Sili King

Sili or chili, one of the hottest edible things ever invented by God. We all know eating too much spicy food can be an unpleasant experience because sometimes it effed up your stomach, your breathe and your drinking water supply. The Sili King, sans an actual crown, wears his imaginary cape and royal scepter, probably with a chili like motif, proudly shares to the world his ability to downed at least 350 pieces of Chili in a way of a common folk eating his favorite snack while watching television.

Artist rendition of Sili King during his prince days.

Everyone gotta start somewhere

I am not quite sure if this is the same guy who did a similar stunt way back in late 90s on national television wherein after eating a crapload of chilies, he celebrated his victory by suffering a high-blood attack and being treated by a medical team.

On the other hand, there are probably others try to attempt to secure a world record, maybe some of them fall on obscurity and never reached the media while others, well, they got universally known because they failed to get that covenant world record, even after the sheer number formula is followed.

The failed most number of simultaneous circumcision world record attempt

Well, circumcision is a very important part of a man's life. The organizers have a good intention but failed because the Guinness does not recognize the number of medical procedures within a set time or in a mass group due to hygiene considerations and risks. They also said medical procedures like cutting the foreskin of a guy should be undertaken only on the advice of a doctor and the patients' welfare should always be the primary concern.

Pictured: Circumcision

Maybe the organizers should consult first with the Gods of World Records before doing the world record. The good thing though, they circumcised the kids for free, a noble act despite the original intent was to have a world record. 

The essence of world record recognition starts to diminished when the record attempts became competitive in nature between countries. A world record, in my opinion, must be unique, unintentional in origin, interesting and importantly not fabricated.

From Super Puberty to Superman - A look back at Smallville

Clark Kent is now Superman.

Smallville, one of the few shows I regularly followed is now officially over after 10 seasons filled with awesomeness, cheesiness, what-the-hell-are-they-smoking episodes and DCness. I vividly remember seeing the first advertisement of Smallville back in 2001 but I never followed it even I am a Superman supermark. Back in the 80s I watched old Superman films, the one with Christopher Reeves, including the horrible part 3 and 4 in betamax.

Only around 2006 I managed to appreciate Smallville after watching Superman Returns and a officemate recommended me to watch his Smallville season 1 to 5 DVD. I think this was the first time I experience watching DVD marathons. I remember watching two seasons straight in the weekends. Meanwhile, season 6 just concluded and I managed to acquire a complete Smallville season 6 DVD and watched it in one afternoon. Later, I just watched all the episodes of Seasons 7 - 10 in weekly basis.

Smallville, is Clark Kent's journey before becoming the most iconic super hero ever, its like a better version of the old late 80s terrible Superboy series.The main character Clark Kent, played by a younger version of Christopher Reeve, Tom Welling, the resemblance was creepily uncanny.

The difference though the writers followed a very strict single rule, the no flights/no tights rule. Meaning, his popular primary colored tights and his ability to fly is not shown throughout the 10 seasons except in few instances. In the very last episode we finally see Clark wearing the tights and finally knows how to make himself fly, presented in a very nerd raging way, you can't barely see Tom Welling in the world's most famous suit, in it's all far away shot and all CGI glory. I don't know why not have Tom wear the suit and make the fans happy.

Seasons 1 to 4 primarily focuses more with Clark's high school life and being tormented internally with his first love, Lana Lang, played by the modern-day Chun Li, Kristin Kreuk. Seasons 5 till 10 has more plethora of DC characters, the setting is more on Metropolis, and the blooming relationship of Clark's Ying to his Yang, Lois Lane, played by the lovely Erica Durance.

The series has a very impressive cast, ranging from the awesome Michael Rosembaum, which is our Lex Luthor, to very holy shit there are so awesome, John Schneider and Annette O Tool, playing Clark's adoptive parents. We have the ever loyal best friend of Clark, Chloe Sullivan played by the equally sweet Alison Mack and we got the magnificent bastard Lionel Luthor played by the magnificent bastard John Glover.

Along the way,  they introduced some of DCs greatest creations like Justin Hartley and his Batman in green garb known as the Green Arrow and original ones, especially during the freak of the week stage back in Season 1 and 2.

Many fans, greatly disappointed in the finale due to not seeing Superman in it's all sparkling glory. Even we did not see him in closer view in the finale, we all know that he is now officially Superman since the main concept of the series is Clark becoming Superman. The whole series, even packed with a lot of filler and terrible episodes, was definitely super.

Television: Man's 2nd Best Friend / PINOY EDITION

Television, man's second best friend, enable us to watch any kind of entertainment right in our home. For decades, televisions provided us with awesome TV series, unforgettable news coverages and enticing documentaries, even way before we were given with Discovery, AXN, Jack TV and National Geographic channels.

Now, almost everyone has access to television and everyone has its own favorites and hated shows. Looking at the local channels though, I think they are degrading in quality and they focus more on star power itself and not giving high-caliber entertainment and information. Take a look on some current shows, I think most of them only survive in less than 6 months, you are lucky if you have a show managed to continue in six months even if the content and the stature sucks. I think the writers and producers has capabilities to concoct quality shows but hey, Philippine masses are the priorities, thus, we need to have shows that will fit to the major market.

On the other hand, I want to ramble things about our local television networks always show on our decades old SDTV, yes my old standard definition television is kicking ass and still the best TV ever. 

Filipino time on Philippine television
In a nutshell, Filipino time means being delayed for at least 30 minutes up to 2 hours, yet the scheduled or planned event still push through. For example, lets say the meeting, scheduled to start in 2:00PM, the attendees will arrive around 2:30PM and the meeting will start around 2:45PM after the last guy arrived. Same applies in some Philippine TV shows especially on prime time. Each shows starts and ends in different times, every single day.

Pictured: Scientific (with complex geometry) visualization of Filipino Time

They can push some shows a little late if there is more important matter that eats air time like a big ass breaking news or something. Whenever they show the schedule line up on-screen, they did not bother to include the time, just the order of shows.

Isn't hard to come up and follow a real linear schedule? If the problem was a lengthy run time of a single show then why not optimized it? like removing all the unnecessary scenes and managing the length of each episode. 

SIMILAR SHOWS BETWEEN NETWORKS
This plaque ravages our airwaves for many years now. Instead of creating original concepts, they try to make a cheat sheet based from other shows, high-fiving each other in delight, wash their hands thoroughly with holy water and voilà, a show similar to the other network.

 

The hell is this (censored)?

They try to outdo each other, toss them with pies that has "we are better than you" notes to each other and rampaging loyal fans will emerge from deep pits of hell somewhere in Manila and try to flame each other with badly written arguments in local message boards.

Competition is a healthy thing, yessirree, but at least the similar aspects of each competing show is subtle and the slice of originality should prevail.

OVER RELIANCE ON REMAKES OR RE-IMAGINED SHOWS
Count all the local shows that are remake of a very old series or a Korean soap operas (why is it always from Korea) or a hint of being re-imagined of an existing show. There are tons of them, not counting all the existing foreign soap operas shown locally.

Yess!!! A melodramatic remake with lots of snow and oriental looking actors on TV!

Why not focus to write original ones? maybe create a little homage to such shows but not completely recreate it and stapled it with a modern-day setting and masses obsessed Philippine culture. Why not we just ditch those writers and hire those foreign writers instead. Though if we manage to get them they will probably get mad and left us because when it is already scheduled, the meeting that is, their Filipino counterparts will always be late due to inherent following of the Filipino time.

One of the reasons why a lot of Filipino love remakes is they already imparted their lives to the original version. If you welcomed and hugged the original version really tight back then, why not welcome and hug a new original show?

TOO MUCH REALITY TALENT SHOWS
I like watching deserving people does their stuff. Dancing, singing even doing artsy stuff with sands I love watching and getting mesmerized with their skills.

Not including this one

Talent shows greatly showcases these people, but having many talent shows on each network is kinda redundant. If there is no immediate and major difference on all talent shows, just showing your talent by yourself or in group, why do you have tons of talent shows in different time and different days. Why not have one talent show on that channel and bam, throw all your freshly found talents on that show.

This way, that single talent show, crowned with prestige and everyone wants to join that show to boast their talent, no matter what it is, even if it is stupid like replicating the great Yoyoy Villame' antics which resulted in horrible way, to the world.

LEANING ON FRANCHISED FOREIGN REALITY SHOWS 
The reason some foreign reality shows are popular because they created it from scratch, maybe getting some tidbits from other shows. If they can conceptualized mind-blowing reality shows why can't we?

 You are doing it wrong sir

You will say they already throw every possible reality show idea but we can still think of something that can fit to our country. Maybe get a very little 1/3 of concept from an existing show, blend it in your blender inside your cranium and spit out a great reality show idea.  

We can still franchise some shows though but not rely on it completely, we can still throw our own reality show concept there and maybe, the viewers will bite and follow it religiously.

LOW-GRADE QUALITY OF SOME SHOWS
Well, like what I mentioned before, the Philippine masses is the priority, that is why we have brain farting ads everywhere even if the target market has low buying power. The proverbial different strokes for different folks strikes again.

Send in the NAVY SEALS! eradicate those shows

Sadly, we always rely on foreign shows and cable channels just to quench our thirst for entertaining shows. Like in some Filipino movies, 75% of time, it will be crap. There are still some gems here and there but a lot of Filipino produced series are... rubbish.

Aside from TV series, a number of news show relies more on sensationalize a piece of news than delivering facts and conveying it to the audience, of course, presented with professionalism. Some of them speak in heavy tone as if a microphone is in places sun does not shine. Even one of them will have a heart attack in any moment once they start speaking and throwing saliva in their mics.

Don't get me started with local showbiz shows with their insane obsession of absorbing celebrities private lives and orgasming in delight when a celebrity is going to a hard time like a break up or a relative who recently deceased.

We can't do anything to improve the quality content of our local shows unless the networks knows how to combine all the things loved by all classes and slap it to our faces silly and we enjoy every single second of it.

A Humble Movie Review: Thor

After almost a year later, I welcome you to another installment of a Humble Movie Review from yours truly who easily get amused with awesome movies that being mutilated around by hardcore snobbish film critics.

Marvel delivered another movie in a form of Thor, part of their ongoing Marvel Cinematic Universe stuff that will climaxed in next years potential blockbuster, the Avengers. Thor is one of those comic book characters I never followed even once. I read X-Men, Superman and Batman comics back then but I never read a single Thor comic. I think I never had a Thor trading card either (in a form of teks, the gambling for 80s/early 90s kids).

The Characters
I love how Thor managed to put himself together being send down to Earth realm, powerless and arrogant after meeting Jane Foster and company. The villain was also portrayed well, but the character being the real antagonist is already predictable as soon as you see him.

I love the way they give everyone decent screen time especially Thor's buddies and the Shield guys, including the mind-blowing cameo of Hawkeye. Chris Hemsworth and Natalie Portman (Thor and Jane Foster respectively) has great chemistry and the female crowd in theater always giggling in delight when they see Hemsworth without any shirt. Hemsworth is perfect for Thor, he engaged to the role very well, complete with convincing greek mythologyesque accent. His brother Loki fits the part with his mischievous and mysterious aura, and of course, sir Anthony Hopkins is the perfect father figure, he is like a walking, breathing living God.

The Presentation
Its your typical "You must learn stuff for your self" film. The story is well written and considering the titanic mythology of Thor, they managed to fit all the necessary stuff in a 2-hour plus movie and they presented them very well and not very tedious to watch. The movie, overall, was good, one of the best comic book based movies ever. The way they introduce the characters were well presented since like what I mentioned before, I never followed the Thor series.

The special effects greatly reminds me of Avatar especially the Asgardian realm scenes. Whenever Thor flies he greatly reminds me of Superman due to the red cape sans his big hammer that he swings around that turns him into a human helicopter. There are some slice of unexpected comedy injected in some scenes that may not tickle the funny bones of extreme movie critics, but for me, seeing someone got hit by a car in a hilarious fashion is already a laughter generator for me.

The Final Stuff
I give this movie 4 out 5 stars. Even if I don't have intense and geek level knowledge of Thor universe, I managed to enjoy watching the whole movie and gaining a new appreciation to a Marvel Superhero known as Thor, God of Thunder.

The Day The Crime Rate Comes Crashing Down

In the next few days, Philippines will watch as our great boxer Manny Pacquiao attempt to garner one more victory. I love watching Manny Pacquiao fight, he is one of the best boxers in the history and definite a great symbol of so-called Philippine pride. His worldwide televised fights actually lessen the crime rate locally, but that is another story, I want to talk about the irritating and annoying side of watching Pacquiao fights as presented by our local TV stations.

Very biased local commentators
Actually I don't mind listening every rant by our local expert commentators since they add the so called Filipino flavor, but most of the time there are kind of biased. They always praised Pacquiao like Jesus. I think most of the time they just blatantly ignored his opponent's obvious efforts to decimate Manny. Some of their lines were downright hilarious, exaggerated and ridiculous like injecting the power of the Filipinos in every punch Manny throws to his opponent.

Pictured: Power of Pacquiao's punches in nifty mob form.

Pacquiao always win mentality
I remember all the hype made by the media that Pacquiao will win his second bout with Erik Morales. All the festive celebratory mood of Filipinos were suddenly crushed when Pacquiao lost to his sophomore fight to Morales. Always remember that this sport is a competitive nature. Manny is not invincible and he had already 3 losses under his professional record. I will not be surprised if Manny will be defeated in his next fight because there is always a possibility that he or may not win the fight.

Victoly! er, Victory! even if Pacquiao loses because we are PROOUUDD!

Commercials, too many commercials
The pay-per-view concept is not a thing here locally and we thank the advertisers for providing us access to the show. On the other hand, we are bombarded with left and right commercials. I think there are more commercials than the actual show. Even between rounds and replays they will show another commercial. Sometimes the commercials kills the phasing of the matches. I think you can even have a long ass bathroom break whenever a set of commercials is on and when you return the commercials are still there, slapping us silly with construction materials and laundry products.

Aftermath after showing ANOTHER commercial for the 816th time

Undercard matches are highly under appreciated
A big boxing event does not evolve in main event alone. We should start recognizing other fighters competing in mid card, even in lower cards. The other matches, even if there are gem and five-star worthy of a match will always be overshadowed by the big main event. Local media should start advertise thoroughly everyone in the undercard, especially the relatively newbies. Remember Pacquiao also started somewhere in the undercard.

Undercard is sad

Everyone in the country will stand still, even criminals, watching and screaming in enjoyment as one guy tries to decimate the other guy. Hell, its entertainment for everyone and others even make gambling out of it. On the other hand, thanks to the Internet, I can watch the boxing fight without any annoying commercial interruption and biased Filipino commentators, via Justin Television, SOPCast and anything Google that can offer.

Those Other Computer Thingies

Today the world is getting smaller in terms of inter connectivity thanks to Internet. We all know the Internet, you know, created for the purpose of exchanging insightful ideas but later tarnished by people who are into furry, scat and other horrible fetishes.

A lot of common everyday stuff is now computer assisted with names that has letter E or I at the beginning like E-Mail, E-Brochure, E-Poke and I-Pad . I am a blogger, a Facebook user and a regular guy who participates in some online message boards, but still there are some computer things that does not apply for me, I just can't feel it.

My own personal Twitter account
I read some Twits from some celebrities, news sites and friends but I just can't have my very own Twitter page. I am not that guy who is always connected to the net and starts showering everyone with my updates, clicking the like button left and right and being just active in social media.

Homer Knows Twitter

They say its like a lite version of Facebook status thing, but in Facebook I don't regularly post statuses, even in this "best time-wasting blog ever ®", I can't write anything in regular basis even I do love writing stuff.

Banking, ordering stuff and anything involves with money via the net
The closest thing that I have done with e-banking is just checking out my savings balance online. Even it is user-friendly I still prefer physical contact when I do money transactions. I think it is more reliable talking and interacting with people than rereading FAQs that mostly filled up with bank jargon that may sound gibberish to you.

The Masked Internet Robber at work

I still don't trust the series of tubes called the Internet when it comes on ordering and transacting stuff online. When I want to have my food delivered I rather dial their delivery number. If there is something I want to buy that is available locally, I will just drive there and buy that stuff. If the stuff is not available locally and can only avail abroad, I just move on especially if it is just a novelty item.

Using Facebook Applications
I only use Facebook for statuses, viewing photos, clicking links and watching videos. Using miscellaneous applications that rampaging throughout the tubes of Facebook is not my thing.

A Super Poke (citation needed)

Some will super-poke me expecting to super-poke them back and receiving lots and lots of gaming or application requests that fills up my notification page that I will drop, probably after a year later.

Reading a whole E-Book in a computer screen
Maybe read an E-Book with less than 20 pages is tolerable enough but reading a complete more than 20 pages E-Book via your screen is nerve wrecking and make my eyes hurt worse than my Bells Palsy experience. The current rush of touch screen products like iPad makes reading E-Books easier. But, having the real physical book is still better than reading E-book for its sheer convenience in reading.

also a good storage for your orange gun collection

Reading a text heavy in a screen with light-colored background is like staring directly in a tungsten light bulb.

Playing online games
The last time I played an online game is way back in my freshmen years in college. Counterstrike is the most popular online game back then and my old computer can actually run that game. Later, when a surge of online games, mostly RPGs popularize by Ragnarök, starts sprouting like flowers I just did not feel like playing it with LAN parties, real competition that encompasses across the world.

and at the same time they are planning a real world domination
via the power of Internet

I love videogames but I just can't see myself dealing with very complex games and I don't want to throw some money just to get some good stuff in the games. I still play quick flash-based games from time to time but current wave of online gaming is not my cup of tea.

Listening to podcast
I love listening to radio, it's already a ritual for me to tune in to Magic 89.9 whenever I drive to work in the morning, and later setting the radio to Jam 88.3 while driving back to good old Las Pinas City. I also listen to online radios but listening to podcast, especially the ones primarily focusing on speaking and no audio or music support whatsoever is not appealing for me, it's so darn boring.

Seeing guys bored to death is more entertaining

Majority of podcasters out there sounds monotonous and not entertaining. Some of them are just randomly rambling about anything and you wish you can go to that podcasters house, get his wired mic and strangle him with an ease.

You are most likely into the stuff I mentioned above but like what I always say, different strokes for different folks, you may like Twitter but you don't want to blog yet I like to blog but I don't want to create and be active over at Twitter. I like the whole internet thing because we can communicate with other people easier; relive nostalgic things in various ways; and of course torrent downloading but some stuff in computer and Internet thingy that I just can't see myself using in a regular basis.

Top Twelve: My Favorite Movies of All Time

I love movies, I am a movie buff, its my stress reliever, its my anti-drug or something. I vividly remember before the internet offered me free movie downloads via the torrent, there was a thing called movie rental, in Betamax format. In our neighborhood, my favorite video rental store is quite convenient, wherein just dial their number, browse to their list of available tapes and their delivery guy will immediate brings you the Betamax via a bike, oh sweet memories.

Anyway, here are my top twelve favorite movies of all time, well so far. Some of the popular movies for extreme movie buffs like Shawshank Redemption and others are not included in this list since I have not watched those movies. The list is strictly that comes first on my mind and fond memories from it.

12. Toy Story
The very first full CGI movie and I fell in love with it for its sheer beauty. The premise was simple, kiddie yet awesome. Everyone can relate since one way or another we had experiences playing with toys. The story is clever and every toy in Andy's room is oozing with life and personality, even the little toys are well animated and looks like the real thing.

Not the real thing I am talking about

The voice actors are top-notch and for being the first full CGI movie, they did a great job. Even it has reruns on Disney Channel I am never sick of it. I love both sequels but the first one was my favorite CGI animated movie of all time.

11. Batman Mask of the Phantasm
Next to Superman, Batman is my second favorite comic character of all time, but I think Combatron will still kick both their asses good. Anyway, I am a big fan of Batman the Animated Series and sometimes I watched some of the episodes via Youtube. I like the way they combine some elements from the sought after Year One and Year Two graphic novels into one stylized adult oriented animation. If you close your eyes, the animated movie sounds like a live action movie.

Batusi not included

Explosions, blood and realistic violence pounds the screen, and I think the only missing is someone from the movie actually say an appropriate swear word.

10. Back to the Future
My favorite Science Fiction of all time and I absolutely love the Delorian Time Machine. The whole trilogy was memorable but just like the Toy Story trilogy, the first one is still the best in my opinion. The film blew my mind and I remember repeatedly watching it over and over, via of course, a rented Betamax tape. The whole time traveling concept from top to bottom was well executed even at first I had trouble figuring all the time line continuum mishaps. The chemistry between Doc and Marty are top-notch and I just love how same actors and actresses portray different roles in different time lines. When I was a kid, I wish our old Mitsubishi Lambda is a real Delorian Time Machine so I can go back to the past and to the future.

If you squint, it does look like the Delorian Time Machine

Lastly, Einstein the dog, the first living creäture to experience time travel, is plain awesome, yes you are, yes you are.

9. Jurassic Park
Another epic masterpiece of Steven Spielberg where everything he touches turn gold. Good casting and the dinosaurs (both CGI and animatronics) are convincingly awesome. The T-Rex and the velociraptor duo gave me nightmares back then. The sequels were kind of hit and miss especially the third one when the dinosaurs became genius in some way.

Genius Dinosaur = Terrifying

The action scenes involving the dinosaurs were realistically terrifying, and who can forget that guy that was bite off by a T-Rex while hiding inside of a mini bathroom? This is my second favorite Science Fiction movie of all time.

8. Hot Shots Part Deux
My favorite kind of comedy is the one relies purely on slapstick. Both the first and second Hot Shots film were comedic gold but Part Deux takes the cake for absolutely the funniest movie of all time, well in my opinion of course. The movie also boasts the most number of body count in a movie ever, at that time, an astounding 249 bodies which died in tons of hilarious fashion, beating Robocop and Total Recall's combined body count.

MTRCB is not amused

I miss this kind of comedies since a plethora of current comedies relies more with shock and a bit of gore in the side. Also, using a chicken as your arrow is also effective in killing enemies.

7. Goodfellas
Next to comedies, my most favorite movie genre is more on with action, with guns, violence and more guns. Goodfellas is one the best mafia movies and every one in the cast delivered authentic and awesome acting. Ray Liotta's portrayal of a real gangster Henry Hill is frighteningly amusing. On the other hand Joe Pesci's character has intense fetish of saying the word fuck all the time.

Can you pack this sheet for me,
I need  your fax machine, I need to fax her later

The violence aspect is over the top, realistic and gritty. Some others say the film it is like a realistic mafia violence porn, beating the equally violent Godfather trilogy. The movie is known for its violence yet the story is still good and you can actually see the main character Henry Hill growing up before our eyes, dealing with police, his mafia BFFs, his wife and his other wife, its like a condensed local soap opera, but more blood and more Pesci's F-bomb shenanigans

6. Scarface
Of course, who can forget Al Pacino's memorable psychotic portrayal of one cocaine powered Tony Montana. One of the grandeur movies in the 80s and one of the rare aspects presented in the movies back then is the sheer rawness and in your face approach of all the characters, including that guy that has his face sliced off like cheese via a cheese grater presented in a form of a chainsaw.

Cheese grater

They say the movie is like the junior son of the Godfather trilogy wherein Don Corleone is the calm daddy and Tony Montana is your typical problem child that raises hell in school. Definitely one of the best gangster movies ever produced.

5. Terminator 2
The movie that defines that 90s, well except futuristic time traveling death bringer cyborgs from the future. The first Terminator was one the landmarks in cinema history with its special effects and brain farting inducing time travel concept but Terminator 2 pushed it further with more explosive actions, impressive CGI effects and of course, a great storyline. I just wished they did not show in the trailers that Arnie will be the good guy in this film. The enemy, however, is one big bad scary guy who can do a lot of things with his hands like it turns into stainless blade that can make you slice and dice. He is scary in everything, his stare, his stance, his gesture, even asking you if you know the guy in the photo he is showing is scary.

Him: Do you know this person in the picture? Me: Aahh!

If you want to know more about the 90s, watch this, if you like 2 cyborg death machines from the future destroying some parts of LA, like a local mall and a foundry, watch this. Like the other movies in this list, if it shows locally in movie channels, I still watch and enjoy it.

4. Black Hawk Down
Based from the 1993 Battle of Mogadishu, this is one of the rare movies that there is no definite lead protagonist which is a great breather from the usual war movies that has its own lead good guy. We got a few minutes of movie opening and then bam, lots of lots shootout and real casualties for the good guys.

NES renditions of 2 Black Hawk Helicopters before being shot down

The film is one of the most intense war movies ever produced because us, the viewers, are on the edge of the seat watching every single war scene, its like we are in a real war zone where in we are the camera guys following and documenting the rangers and marines fighting their way in Mogadishu just to capture a few guys but ended up fighting for whole freaking day, adding the unforeseen crash of two Black Hawk helicopters, another addition to already stressful battle with angry Somalian mob. Definitely a must watch for war and action movie buffs.


3. The Dark Knight
My favorite Superhero based movie so far. Nolan, the director, impressed the Batman fans with his earlier film, Batman Begins, the much-needed reboot of the franchise after the last Bat film that was obviously Batman on Ice complete with ice skating. The sequel, is definite the cream of the crop of superhero movies. Bales' performance is superb but the villains outshines everyone in the film, Aaron Ekhart as Two-Face and Heath Ledger, Heath effin Ledger was effin outstanding.

Guy in prison suit: not Heath Effin Ledger

I feel the movie is something like my number one choice in this list but with comic book characters. I love Nolan's stand on using realistic stunts instead of relying it completely on CGI, giving us a lot of holy shit moments, like that truck flipping scene, that shit was insane, I need to calm down.

2. Saving Private Ryan
The innovator of shaky cam complimented with lots and lots of freshly machine-gunned dead bodies. One of the most realistically terrifying war movies ever made. The first 20 minutes is one of the must unforgettable intro ever, because I see lots of machines gun shredding allied soldiers while Tom Hanks becoming Omega Tom Hanks leading his men to victory.

Omega Tom Hanks also dominates the fighting game world

Like Black Hawk Down, all the war sequences are terrifyingly realistic but in bigger scale, this is World War 2 after all. You can feel for the characters risking their lives just to find a certain Private Ryan. Lots of explosions, world war 2 authentic weaponry including the scene hilarious backfiring of sticky bomb and gruesome gore that you don't want to see in life.

1. Heat
My absolute favorite movie all time and it stars two of Hollywood's greatest actors, Al Pacino and Robert De Niro. The movie is best remembered for the Los Angeles street shoot out but aside from that, the whole movie is well written and packaged.

Figure 1.1 An Angry De Niro

A very good crime drama and I love Michael Mann, the director and writer of the film, treated both Al and Robert as not your ordinary protagonist and antagonist. If you watch it its like watching two separate movies, one focus on Pacino's character dealing his messed up family at the same time trying to stop De Niro's reign of "heisting" terror. The other one is De Niro's straight to the point attitude in planning and implementing his next heist and at the same time still maintaining his humanity like having a somewhat decent relationship with his girlfriend and making sure keeping his men on the line.

When two finally meet, epic showdown and unforgettable quotes starts throwing toward the viewers.

They are currently throwing unforgettable quotes to you.

This movie is one of the reasons why I love action movies and one of my overall main inspirations of the novel that I am writing, which is still not finished (damn it).

That's my list of my top twelve favorite movies of a time, I hope you enjoyed wasting your time reading this list.