Thats it, I am retiring the best time waster blog ever

I just want to announce the official end of the best time waster ever. I just can't write any time wasting posts ever.... the spark is not there anymore.

Though I did try writing new stuff, but later scrapped because I felt that the entries does not have that special feeling, its feels kind of forced.

Now, I am focusing more on maintaining my online portfolio (with blog), my new work and things I want to do for a very long time since, in my opinion, finally I have the chance to do it.

I just want to say thank you to a few readers who, somehow, stumbled to this site and reading all the entries designed just to waste your time.

Maraming salamat po.

Almost a Year Later, a Small Post Appears

Almost 1 year later, I have returned to the best time waster blog ever, self proclaimed that is. What the hell just happened? well, a lot of things happened to me for the past year, mostly preoccupied with work and as usual, creative juice in writing new stuff is not cooperating with me.

Yet, whenever I checked the stats of my blog from time to time which is around 2 times a month, there are still tons of unique visitors checking out the entries, mostly the old ones and I want to thank you whoever you are for still giving life to my little blog by...... reading my old stuff.

Right now I am in the middle of the planning stage to start my dream business and hopefully it will start around October and at the same time I am now doing freelance graphic design work, with that I have now time to post more time wasting entries for you to waste time with... hopefully my creative juice, writing department, is cooperating with me.

And yes, I am happy Asiong Salonga won the 2012 Metro Manila Film Festival grand title. 

What we need? A throwback to the awesomeness of Pinoy Action Movies

You do know I am an easily amused movie buff. Whenever I do my movie reviews here I just say on what I just felt, and not providing lengthy unnecessary rants that includes philosophical bullshit, finding stronger adjectives in dictionary to include in the review and being an élite movie dick.

If you read some  of my movie reviews you can see I am a big action movie fan (with Heat being my favorite movie of all time). My obsession with guns, explosions and death-defying actions sequences, the main ingredients of a typical action movie actually started way back in the 80s, particularly Philippine action movies.

Yes, Philippine action movies, which is, sadly, now extinct in favor of following movie genres eating the box office, even some of the stories are utterly stupid and terrible.

• Love stories that involves infidelities galore with a sudden sex scene thrown from out of nowhere
• Comedies that relies on cheap shocks and making you dumber while watching
• Horror with horrific production values.... and poor execution of jump scares
• Overuse of sequels with storylines that are sickening to stomach and probably written in one seating while drinking his specially requested frap (with cream) and hogging the free wi-fi of the shop

Now, they are gone, but back then, they were the king, then the late 90s bold movie era came, and the action genre was no longer a priority. A Filipino action movie always follow the same formula, we introduce the good guy who always wear a leather jacket and sometimes a white Karate like headband around his gel powered hair.  He has a strong sense of duty, very manly and he has a hot leading lady, a prerequisite for the protagonist.

The Ultimate Form of Philippine Action Hero

The bad guys, consist of one main antagonist and surrounded by his henchmen that all wears shades and leather jackets, carrying an M-16 even if their boss is just eating his dinner, inside his luxurious mansion located somewhere in Alabang, and the boss should always wear white when in his turf. They should always have white Mercedes-Benz and when his henchmen screw up he must say "MGA INUTIL, IISA LANG SIYA DI NIYO PA MAPATAY (Stupid! he is only one man and you can't even kill him?).

Alberto Del Rio: Your Modern Day Suave Great Pacquito Diaz

The climax always begin when the bad guys do something horrendous to someone related to the good guy, like murder or in extreme situations, raping his leading lady, complete with satanic laugh while doing the deed. Of course, the protagonist will rage and will do a commando one man assault to his enemies, which is strangely always in an abandon warehouse filled with corroded drums.

The last showdown before the main guy shooting the main bad guy dead they need to throw some heartfelt words to each other before throwing bullets in the air. In the end, the good guy prevails, the police arrives in the scene very late and starts grabbing surviving bad guys and ignores the protagonists even he is clearly wielding a gun, covered in bullet wounds and carrying the knowledge that he just killed a number of people. Even if the cliché premise sounds, you know, stupid in today's standard, but it was effin awesome and was effin entertaining.

With all my heart officer, I did not killed the bad guys and burned their place

, really

Last year I watched the Stallone directed film, the Expendables. A modernize throw back to the 80s action movie vibe when Sylvester and others reigned supreme. It was entertaining, sometimes cheesy but they delivered the most important factor of an action film, being it over the top.

Now I hope someone in movie industry will do a Stallone and create an action movie that has everything 80s Filipino action movie stuff on it. Here are some of my choices for the movie, and most of them has background with action movies so they are surely know their stuff. For the benefit of awesome cheesiness, as suggested by a friend, we will name the movie COBRA SQUAD: MGA BERDUGO NG MAYNILA 

Protagonists
Lito Lapid (The current Cobra Squad leader)
Jestoni Alarcon
Ronnie Rickets
Bong Revilla Jr.
Monsour Del Rosario
Erap Estrada (as Cobra Squad co-founder, mentor character)
FPJ (as Cobra Squad co-founder, an in-movie tribute to the king)

Antagonists
Eddie Guiterrez (the leader of the bad guys, the governor of a nearby province)
Eddie Garcia
Rez Cortez
Edu Manzano
Dick Israel 
Pacquito Diaz (another in-movie subtle tribute, maybe they can say he is the sole reason the Cobra Squad exist)

So far they are the only ones that I can think of. Here are the some of the things the movie needed.

• Only use rundown cars for later explosions
• Every character should wear at least a leather jacket
• The leading ladies for the good guys must show wholesome in image
• The women for the bad guys should look slutty and must use hair spray... a lot
• The last showdown's site is a broken down warehouse, full of flaming drum cans
• For the sound effects, only use the authentic old sound effects. The sound of the punch and the kick should only be one
• Everyone uses an M-16, a couple of hand gun and a bazooka with that distinctive "shiwup" sound effect.
• Show some things that made some actors famous like the bullet splitting technique of Lito Lapid
• A vintage sounding theme song is a must, probably sung by VST and Co. or Hagibis.

Maybe include in the Metro Manila Film Festival, even if they have a big chance of not winning the big ones (the horrible ones always win, well except Baler, that one was awesome). Even if the movie will probably fail in terms of box office because of a movie with an actor who has an uncanny ability to show different emotions through one emotion will destroy the movie in sales due to his rabid fans, the movie will most likely have decent cult fans and will demand a sequel.

Well, we can all dream and enjoy your day.

Is the Nocturnalfrolic: The Best Time Waster Blog Ever... Dead Again?

Nope, I was just preoccupied with a lot of work and I kind of run out of creative juice when it comes to writing stuff for the blog, again.

There are instances I wrote a lengthy post wherein I immediately throw it out and try to create a new one from scratch due to uninspired outputs.

I even tried to start two other blogs (a design blog and a Philippine humor photo blog) but I did not pushed through since this blog alone, I don't regularly update, yet alone post content to other blogs, so it was a futile attempt.

Still from time to time (maybe at least one to two times per month),  I will try my best to waste your time more by writing more nifty and original content.

Thank you for sharing your wasted time on my blog.

Boom! Headline!

News, a piece of information that happened in a specified date and time. TV, a medium to deliver information and entertainment. TV and news, a match made in heaven if you want to get stories on everything, from a local spectacle to sports results.

It got motion and audio, something you cannot get from a newspaper. Sometimes we can actually see a breaking news in real-time, complete with lots of running and screaming in fear when gun sounds echoes around the news. What possibly go wrong with this scenario?

Raging Reporters
Majority of TV reporters today rely on over sensationalize all of things They tend to speak in angryesque way, complemented with super serious expression as if someone really rubbed that guy in a bad way. It is like they are having a roid rage without steroids and experiencing sugar rush without the sugar. The voice, the goddamn voice, is ear-piercing and you want to give elbow drop to your TV set.

Grrr, we have a a huge oil rollback (snort)

Sometimes, I think those reporters experience daily heart attacks when they speak on the mic. I remember hearing on radio, reporting positive things but if you listen to his voice, you will probably thinking you are listening to a pissed off Incredible Hulk. Other reporters love to speak in deep voice which sound like a butch tomboy who tries to speak like a man.

A TV reporter is a professional work.You must speak clearly, concise and just right in terms of volume delivery, even if your network's market is essentially jejemons and D-Z classes.

Asking stupid questions
There are times I want to magically appear on TV set, behind the reporter who just asked a stupid question and hit him with a baseball bat repeatedly.

How's your day? fiery happy?

I don't why they keep on asking questions with obvious answers for the longest time. If you asked someone who just has his house burned down to the ground the question, how do you feel? what do you think will be his response?

If there is a foreign celebrity who hit the country probably for a concert and when they have a press conference, they will ask the visiting celebrity with cliché Philippines narcissistic questions (especially such celebrity is 1% Filipino) like what do you think of our world-class food? do you like our jeepneys? can you say MAHAL KO KAYO (I love you all) in your funny accent while? instead of asking right questions like hows your stay, how are you and are you excited for the concert.

Saying really stupid stuff
There are reporters and journalists who are just plain stupid. This pack of idiots say things that are inappropriate, unnecessary and full of crap. They like being involved with the news than reporting it to the people. Like the bus hostage crisis last year, a reporter actually say on national TV on where are the real positions of the snipers, wherein the hostage taker has a TV inside the bus and listening on every god damn detail poured by the reporters. Maybe the situation will be not in a bloody mess if the reporter did not say the positions in the first place and the outcome maybe different.

I can't control my fetish of being part of the news

There was another one wherein the reporter starts reporting the effectiveness of speed limit implementation over at the killer highway called Commonwealth via the use of a radar gun. Everything was all good when the reporter starts asking what are the cons of the radar gun, and the MMDA guy spilled all the limits of the radar gun while fast and furious wannabe drivers starts digesting the secrets, probably high-fiving with other lunatic drivers and try to abuse the radar gun's weaknesses.

Excessive Self branding
A reporter's job is just share the news to the world, not brag to the whole world that you are a journalist filled with integrity and all those sparkling crap.

Aside from reporting, I also invented world peace

We get you want to impart your "goodness" to the world through responsible journalism but the only way to meet responsible journalism is responsibly report the news and not have your opinions or rant involve, we don't care, we just want the news.

Reporting unnecessary and very uninteresting news
Sadly, there are more of those kind of news than real legit news. Stories like a dancing cat or an old man with a jumping fetish, they will broadcast it to the world, accompanied with stupid banter. This kind of news usually prevails in showbiz industry, with news like "actress gained 4 pounds, she is now a fat person" and "actor and another actor, seen together on someones birthday" good TV, isn't it?

He gained 1 pound! WE GOT THE EXCLUSIVE NEWS

It's like they are having orgasm when they hear something from their favorite actor or actress, and I thought showbiz new circle around  TV, movie and other related projects than the private lives of the performers.

Sensationalize everything, especially the bad news
A very bad Filipino trait, an insane obsession to sensationalize everything. I don't know whats the news  gathering group's fetish of collecting more bad news than the positive ones. They get the news, then we got the reporters with countless awards and trophies that makes Ultimo Dragon's championship collection like nothing, smiles on the camera and subtly screaming at you with the news.

His championship collection is worth sensationalizing

They even have over-edited video package for some news, complete with intense zoom in and zoom out effects, with a score that sounds like the end of the world is coming, yet the news is all about a scandal of some sort.

The masses love those kind of stuff, throwing sensationalized news to their faces and probably clapping in delight at the same time. And don't get me started with showbiz news, goddamn, I can write a whole article from it. I can't blame the country since we are one of the most gossip addicts nation in the world, well that is a good World record, lets call Guinness, the company, not the guy.

Sheer Numbers: A Philippine Way to have a World Record

Ahh, the Guinness Book of World Records, where prestigious and holy crap that's mind-blowing quality world records compiled. It's like a handy collection of interesting facts and unique findings like the identities of world's tallest man and world's oldest living person. 

Filipinos on the other hand, are kind of attention whores like finding ways just to start a rally where the world can see. Since the closest interesting Philippine world record is Imelda Marcos' insane shoe collection, a lot of our dear countrymen, for the sake of having a world record, decided just to make one, I'm sorry, what I mean is a lot of them. 

Here are some "what the hell dude" and maybe unnecessary Philippine world records. Some recognized by the Guinness staff while shaking their head with a thought bubble on top of their heads written "how did they come up with this stuff?". 

Most number of couple simultaneously liplocking

This became an annual event few years ago when they try to outkiss other countries for the sake of having the most number of couple kissing at the same time. Philippines broke the record from Chile, and they try to keep the title by recruiting more couples to share their saliva just to have a Guinness sprinkle dusted certificate. 

Pictured: Kicking the ass of the previous record holder

The reason I included this and I loath this record is they are causing traffic since I always pass that area when I go home. Damn them and their wish to have a world record.

Most number of people tooth brushing at the same time.

Oral hygiene, a very definite need for everyday people. Another way to get world record is to just enlarged the number of people brushing their teeth. Like the most number of kissing, they just organized a big ass event, complete with sponsors. get tons of children from a lot of schools and simultaneously brush their teeth, bam! a world record. 

One Nation, Under Toothbrush

Good thing they managed to have a good rationality to have that event, they promote good dental hygiene. Unlike the other one, I am not sure if a mass couple kissing has a good rationale. Or simply, maybe they just want a world record.

Most number of breast-feeding at the same time

Another proudly Philippine world record. Again, another event with a good rationale, to promote breast-feeding, which is best for the babies, also for the daddies (boo! get off the stage). They have a big number of mothers participating in the event and...

Wait a minute

This analysis needs science

Lets see other Philippine world records

World's Longest Barbeque

World's Largest Salad

World's Largest Durian Candy Bar

World's Longest Mat

I see, there are two methods to make our own world records.

First, stuff people do

• Just pick something a number of people can do, like kite flying or drinking from a glass
• Get some people, hopefully thousands of them. Telling them they will be on TV will entice them further to join your world record attempt
• Go get some media and lots of sponsors
• Do what Filipinos are famous for, sensationalize like there is no tomorrow
• Organize the event and don't forget to call Guinness, the company, not the guy, to let them know you are about to make a world record, like most number of people drinking water from a glass at the same time
• Do the event, count the heads who participated, high-five each other and we have our world record etched in next years edition of Guinness, the book, not the guy. "
  

 

Where is Guinness? SHOW ME!

Second, with food

• Think of something that is edible, like rice cakes and sandwiches
• Get some people who knows how to do your selected dish
• Do some sweet talking with your local government or private sector for funds to buy truckload of ingredients. Don't forget to give them a cut, around 60%
• Go get some media and lots of sponsors
• Do what Filipinos are famous for, sensationalize like there is no tomorrow
• Organize the event and block a very long ass street and place your world record-breaking dish.
• Don't forget to call Guinness, the company, not the guy, to let them know you are about to make a world record, like longest line of rice cakes
• Do the event, measure the total length of said food, buy more measuring tape if necessary, high-five each other and we have our world record etched in next years edition of Guinness, the book, not the guy. 

The Philippines, probably other countries do this method to create a world record, something to brag on their neighboring cities and provinces. There is gotta be something interesting world record that don't rely on sheer numbers. Well, there is one, and he is a king.

Sili King

Sili or chili, one of the hottest edible things ever invented by God. We all know eating too much spicy food can be an unpleasant experience because sometimes it effed up your stomach, your breathe and your drinking water supply. The Sili King, sans an actual crown, wears his imaginary cape and royal scepter, probably with a chili like motif, proudly shares to the world his ability to downed at least 350 pieces of Chili in a way of a common folk eating his favorite snack while watching television.

Artist rendition of Sili King during his prince days.

Everyone gotta start somewhere

I am not quite sure if this is the same guy who did a similar stunt way back in late 90s on national television wherein after eating a crapload of chilies, he celebrated his victory by suffering a high-blood attack and being treated by a medical team.

On the other hand, there are probably others try to attempt to secure a world record, maybe some of them fall on obscurity and never reached the media while others, well, they got universally known because they failed to get that covenant world record, even after the sheer number formula is followed.

The failed most number of simultaneous circumcision world record attempt

Well, circumcision is a very important part of a man's life. The organizers have a good intention but failed because the Guinness does not recognize the number of medical procedures within a set time or in a mass group due to hygiene considerations and risks. They also said medical procedures like cutting the foreskin of a guy should be undertaken only on the advice of a doctor and the patients' welfare should always be the primary concern.

Pictured: Circumcision

Maybe the organizers should consult first with the Gods of World Records before doing the world record. The good thing though, they circumcised the kids for free, a noble act despite the original intent was to have a world record. 

The essence of world record recognition starts to diminished when the record attempts became competitive in nature between countries. A world record, in my opinion, must be unique, unintentional in origin, interesting and importantly not fabricated.

From Super Puberty to Superman - A look back at Smallville

Clark Kent is now Superman.

Smallville, one of the few shows I regularly followed is now officially over after 10 seasons filled with awesomeness, cheesiness, what-the-hell-are-they-smoking episodes and DCness. I vividly remember seeing the first advertisement of Smallville back in 2001 but I never followed it even I am a Superman supermark. Back in the 80s I watched old Superman films, the one with Christopher Reeves, including the horrible part 3 and 4 in betamax.

Only around 2006 I managed to appreciate Smallville after watching Superman Returns and a officemate recommended me to watch his Smallville season 1 to 5 DVD. I think this was the first time I experience watching DVD marathons. I remember watching two seasons straight in the weekends. Meanwhile, season 6 just concluded and I managed to acquire a complete Smallville season 6 DVD and watched it in one afternoon. Later, I just watched all the episodes of Seasons 7 - 10 in weekly basis.

Smallville, is Clark Kent's journey before becoming the most iconic super hero ever, its like a better version of the old late 80s terrible Superboy series.The main character Clark Kent, played by a younger version of Christopher Reeve, Tom Welling, the resemblance was creepily uncanny.

The difference though the writers followed a very strict single rule, the no flights/no tights rule. Meaning, his popular primary colored tights and his ability to fly is not shown throughout the 10 seasons except in few instances. In the very last episode we finally see Clark wearing the tights and finally knows how to make himself fly, presented in a very nerd raging way, you can't barely see Tom Welling in the world's most famous suit, in it's all far away shot and all CGI glory. I don't know why not have Tom wear the suit and make the fans happy.

Seasons 1 to 4 primarily focuses more with Clark's high school life and being tormented internally with his first love, Lana Lang, played by the modern-day Chun Li, Kristin Kreuk. Seasons 5 till 10 has more plethora of DC characters, the setting is more on Metropolis, and the blooming relationship of Clark's Ying to his Yang, Lois Lane, played by the lovely Erica Durance.

The series has a very impressive cast, ranging from the awesome Michael Rosembaum, which is our Lex Luthor, to very holy shit there are so awesome, John Schneider and Annette O Tool, playing Clark's adoptive parents. We have the ever loyal best friend of Clark, Chloe Sullivan played by the equally sweet Alison Mack and we got the magnificent bastard Lionel Luthor played by the magnificent bastard John Glover.

Along the way,  they introduced some of DCs greatest creations like Justin Hartley and his Batman in green garb known as the Green Arrow and original ones, especially during the freak of the week stage back in Season 1 and 2.

Many fans, greatly disappointed in the finale due to not seeing Superman in it's all sparkling glory. Even we did not see him in closer view in the finale, we all know that he is now officially Superman since the main concept of the series is Clark becoming Superman. The whole series, even packed with a lot of filler and terrible episodes, was definitely super.