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Sunday, March 7, 2010

Movie Theater A-Holes



I still watch movies in theaters even if there is a DVD quality pirated version of the same movie being sold nearby. There is a different feeling if you watch the movie in the theater itself, complete with greasy and heart attacking foods and seating in a comfortable chair.

Being surrounded with complete strangers in a theater has its drawbacks, since there are at least 1 person or a group of wackos and dicks among them that will ruin your movie experience for you. This is the list of Movie Theater A-Holes, and sadly, there are mostly done by "cool" teenagers who should frolic somewhere where they can be run over by a bunch of 10 wheeler trucks.

Loudmouths
They are the ones constantly chatting with their companions in a loud and annoying manner. They talk indiscriminately and nonstop especially during the good parts. It's okay to talk but more discreet and not too freaking loud you megaphone sucker.

Seat kickers
They place their feet on the back of the chair in front of them as if they are lying in their bed at home, sometimes with a little force that you can feel. Fortunately, I encountered such people in a diplomatic manner and I managed to convince them to place their feet in the floor, because that is where are they suppose to be in the first place.

Cellphones... so bright...
Answering and texting through their cellphones can really be distracting especially if the backlight of their unit can lit an electric less country. Use your darn hands to cover the cellphone and be courteous with your fellow movie watcher and go outside and answer your phone.

Status Addicts
Same as above, instead of answering or sending SMS over the air, they will just post their current status on Facebook and tweets on, of course, Tweeter, via their phones. Who the freaking cares if your status, sugar-coated with cheesiness left and right, that you are watching the movie? it is only beneficial for your personal stalkers who deeds whenever you post a status on your page. All your constant pressing of buttons and the bright light of your cellphone kills the experience.

Baby seating in theaters
I like kids, I like babies, they are the greatest things in the world, even they are sometimes obnoxious. But please, do not bring them in theaters, especially in inappropriate movies. Most of the time they will not be quiet and cry throughout the movie. Try to find a guardian or baby sitter for your kids or if you really want to watch the movie but there is no one to take care of your kid, just go buy a pirated version of same movie and watch it at home, with your other hand caressing your little you. Piracy can be the solution of your quality time with your offspring.

Crunchy Munchy
Just like the obnoxious munchers in public vehicles, they are not speaking much but every excruciating and disgusting sound of their food munching is already annoying. Can they have it in moderation and not shove their face in their popcorn bowl like there are running out of food.

Popcorn Throwers
Oh man,  this pricks should shove their popcorn bowls up their oversexed behinds. They think it is funny to throw popcorn pieces to random strangers. They think they have conquered the world by throwing food items and giggling like an innocent schoolgirl who just saw her first porno.I would pay to watch a big, scary, Batista like guy, who just got hit by a random popcorn and immediately pinpointed the culprit and beat them senseless, that would be entertaining to watch than the actual film.

"Cool" kids that would say a random loud comment as if they are the best thing
ever
.
They will ruin the movie experience when they say random loud comments that can be heard all the way outside of the auditorium, followed up by forced laughter among their friends with matching high-fives on the side. These misguided and probably got dropped when their babies think they are witty, funny and overall cool. But most of the movie patrons who wants peace and order may go medieval on these sorry souls.

Movie watching in a theater, even if it is already run down or with an elegant and expensive interior design, should be enjoyable at the same time, be courteous with other movie patrons. Just like that singing Frog from that Meet The Robinsons commercial usually shown in Ayala Cinemas, it is not your living room. So next time you watch a movie, think about that singing Frog then behave, be civil and enjoy the show.

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